He Lives! That's Good News!

So, through Jesus let us always offer to God our sacrifice of praise, coming from lips that speak his name. Hebrews 13:15 NCV

Christmas time is really upon us. I must say it has been one of the most relaxing and refreshing Christmases for me. My husband, Kevin, and I have always tried not to get caught up in the stuff. We were blessed with Christmases of one gift and of plenty. Yet, we always tried to stay focused.

When the kids were babies and toddlers we were very careful about the books, video, music, that we brought into the home. I was taught from elementary school throughout high school about how external stimuli can influence decision making and behavior. Also, as a marketing major I was amazed at all of the “tricks” companies used to persuade buyers. Wording on products, placement, pricing, design, etc are all designed for one thing…to separate us from our money. That is why when the kids ask for the candy at the register, I understood. It’s at eye distance.

We only allowed the kids to watch public TV programs; other selected programs and carefully picked out videos. Public TV did not have commercials, therefore the kid’s mind weren't always bombarded with things to buy. A trip to any store with all 5 kids was a doable thing. Of course, there were times they asked for items, but we were blessed the kids didn’t beg obsessively and throw tantrums in the store.

The result is kids who understand that Christmas isn’t about the stuff. It was never about the stuff and then we changed the meaning in the middle of the experience. I am certain one of the Grier kids would have called us out. We asked each year, what they desired for Christmas. The question was never, “What do you want Santa to bring you?” They don’t feel slighted by the experience. Though, one Christmas one of my sons wrote a 3 page list. I looked at it with amusement. I called him to the room and simply stated, “Son, I apologize to you if I made you believe that we would buy 3 pages of gifts to place under the tree.” He simply nodded and with a slight grin, walked out of the room. I know someone had to try.

The kids understood this…

• We were not going to hold our tithe to buy presents.

• We were not working second jobs to supply toys for Christmas. But to survive we would.

• We were not going to max out credit cards and suffer financially for being irresponsible.

• We were not going to borrow money from all of the relatives, and add on more debt.

Once through a financial wilderness, it would have been crazy for us to take the kids back through with us.

We don’t debate across the dinner table about the true meaning of Christmas. We know the meaning. It saddens us there is so much debate. We pray that the people who are served during the Christmas season continue to be helped after Christmas.

The good news is that Christ was born to die for our sins. We can’t seem to utter that doing this festive season. Yet,owning that powerful revelation will remove all doubt.

My favorite hymn….

He Lives

God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;

He came to love, heal and forgive;

He lived and died to buy my pardon,

An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,

Because He lives, all fear is gone;

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living,

Just because He lives!

Now that’s Good News!

Prayer Thank you father for sending your son, Jesus. I don't think we always embrace the enormity of such a wonderful and awesome Gift. Please forgive us where we fall short.We are praising your name , Father, just for allowing us to lift you up in this Christmas season. You alone are the reason for the season. ~Amen 

New Beginnings to Wholeness

2 Corinthians 12:9
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me



In 1986 my roommate and I attended a sales presentation for dinnerware and cookware. We were sold on the beauty of the product and the lifetime guarantee warranty for the cookware. We purchased the entire set which included cookware, fine china, bone china and a casual dinnerware set. I was excited about one day using the dinnerware.

I was always careful with taking care of my items. Growing up, my parents stressed how to take care of simple items so that we weren’t always replacing broken, lost, or misused items. I was careful to teach my kids the same thing. But we all understand and expect there to be mishaps, mistakes, and certainly something breaking in the kitchen! Yet, we didn’t have many broken dishes.

Then one day, I walked in the kitchen and there it was, a broken bowl in 3 pieces. It was lovingly placed on the counter with all pieces accounted for. I asked the kids what happened. My daughter explained it was dropped while washing dishes. I looked at her gentle face , smiled and thanked her for saving the pieces. I let the bowl sit for a couple of days, and eventually glued the pieces together. I followed the instructions carefully.

*Make sure the surface is clean

*Align the blue trim on the top of the bowl to insure a good fit

*Apply a coat of super glue and place the pieces together

*Hold the pieces together to secure the glue

*Wipe off excess glue

*Allow the glue in the item to set

That was over ten years ago. The bowl is still in use. We have washed it by hand and the dishwasher. We have placed it in the microwave. The bowl is good for cold cereal or hot soup. Because the glue has held up, we treat the bowl as if it was never broken.

I can still see the crack, but the bowl is like new and usable.

For so long I have lived a broken life. The pieces were neatly placed inside of me. Every time I attempted to get past my issues the task failed. I realized there was going to be a process. What I didn’t know is that the process for me would be longer than expected. There were lessons I was trying to by-pass because I wasn’t ready to deal with my issues. I thought by placing memories in the back of my mind, and moving forward with fervor would do the trick!

Not! Life will make you deal with her!

In ,Paulette Harper Johnson  new book Completely Whole she wrote 2 very important points in the first chapter that grabbed my heart….

*There are avenues and detours we must take (or make!)

*We want to get from A to Z without the bumpy roads.

Those 2 sentences stopped me in my track. I recognized this as confirmation from God concerning my weary days. I know there is no short cut and I opened myself to that fact a while back. I am walking in faith that I will be made whole.

Steps I have taken so far…..

• Allow the Lord to create in me a clean heart


• Align my life with the Word


• Apply the Word to the broken pieces


• Allow the Word to hold the broken pieces together


• Allow the Lord to wipe my tears


• Sit under the Word allowing the healing to set.

My wholeness looks just like my bowl. If I look hard enough, I can see the crack. But that’s just my testimony! My wholeness can withstand the hot and the cold issues life presents. And the Lord can use me and use me some more! I have recognized the weakness in my bowl and I submit those weaknesses to the Almighty!

Prayer Lord, Lord Dear Lord, I bring before you my brokenness. I thank you for never leaving me. I thank you for my trials and tribulations for I have grown Lord and I have learned to trust you. Please forgive for the times I worried. Please forgive me for having a Plan B for when I doubted. I trust you, Lord. Thank you for your grace and mercy!

Worry Doesn't Have a Place in the Kingdom, Part II

Early in our marriage, my husband and I brought our first home. It was a single family home with 3 bedrooms and an inviting fireplace. Three of our five kids were born while we lived there. This house was a place of fond memories. But at times, it was quite difficult managing a house with kids, a spouse and a fish name Herbie!

We used oil as our source of heat. And I remember the large oil tank sitting at the back of the house. There were times when I was quite concerned because my sons would climb on the tank and jump off when playing. I remember feeling at one time, the heat in the house wasn’t as intense. We blamed it on the weather getting colder. Then one day, we woke up to a very cold house. My husband decided to call the oil company. But I was certain the tank could not have emptied so quickly. So, they came out. Put more oil in the tank. Left.


For a little while, heat. Then silence. Then cold. After a visit from the serviceman, the verdict,
“Your furnace is gone completely out!”

“Hmmmmm, it was not going to last. No one told you?”


Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”


There were mixed emotions of anger and worry. We attempted several times to get assistance to no avail. Living paycheck to paycheck, wouldn’t allow for immediate savings. We continued to pray about our situation and looked forward to events that would take us out of the house like church, work, and playtime.

During the day, the kids played outside. At the time, we didn’t have video games, VCRs or anything else that would keep the kids locked to the TV. We had plenty of bikes, trucks, play shovels, balls and a whole lot of imagination!


The fireplace was deep and really wasn’t designed to warm a house. Yet, its purpose had changed. We were burning wood from the yard and paper. At night, we dressed the kids in footed PJ’s, hats and gloves and slept in front of the fireplace. Even though we didn’t have an appreciation for this danger, the Lord never left us.


I reached out to the Crisis center. It was so wonderful to finally get some help.

"How long has the heat been out?"
2 weeks

"How much does it cost to replace?"
$1500

"How many kids are in the house?"
4 kids, 2 infants, 2 year old, 4 year old

"OMG! We have to get you immediate help!"
"Are you married?"
Yes.

Silence………..

More silence………..

"I am sorry Ms Grier. If there is a father in the house, we can’t provide assistance."

I could hear my heart cracking. Tears filled my eyes. I called my husband and gave him the news. He didn’t express an once of worry. ‘Something is going to work out.” So, I tried to stay focused as well. Yet, the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't be still.


One morning, there was a knock on the door. I peeked out the window. I didn’t recognize the ladies on the step. I opened the door and stared blankly. “Yes?” One of the ladies began to speak about the Word the Lord had for me that cold morning. I was blocking the door so they couldn’t see the fireplace and feel the coldness of the house.


Immediately, the lady stopped speaking. She asked me if I had a fire in the fire place. "Yes." She asked what I was burning. "Wood and newspaper. "She asked about the flue, liner an dother parts of the chimney. I had no idea what she asking me. Finally she stated,

"I can see a film of smoke in this room. You wouldn’t have noticed it because it would have been gradual and it’s uniform. But the smoke is not venting out of your house. If you would open your curtains and allow the light in, you would be able to see it.”

I looked around and in the moment I realized how dark it really was in the house. She looked at the ladies and no longer seemed interested in the Bible study. They bid me farewell and I closed the door.

I stroked my fingers on the wall. Soot! An even smooth coat of soot. When I pulled the curtain, I noticed the film on my hands. I could now see the difference in the shades of paint. The blinds were thick with a thin layer of soot that was almost unnoticeable. I was amazed and sad at the same time. I thought about the nights  the family was sleeping in front of the fireplace, using our bodies to keep the kids warm. I began to cry thanking God for keeping my babies safe.

Philippians 4:19 “And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”


In that moment of despair, knowing the fireplace was no longer an option, there was strong knock on the door. When I opened the door, it was the Bible study lady. She had something in her hand. A kerosene heater and an oil can! She stated she had this at home for emergencies and she and her husband decided to allow us to use it. I was so overwhelmed. She stated we could use it as long as we needed. My heart was overjoyed. The Lord sent a total stranger to remind me not to worry , but to dwell in His safety. Psalm 4:8.


Here was a lady on a mission to give a mini Bible study. Yet, she recognized another need. And without a whole lot of conversation, took care of the need, prayed with me and left. I will remember this visit from the Lord always.

Eventually, we had to replace the blinds, curtains, paint the inside of the house. And yes, the Lord blessed us with a brand new furnace! All in God’s time.

Many times when we worry, we invite into our lives a constant flow of soot that is so thin we don’t notice it until it effects all the surfaces of our lives. We kept the light out and nothing is allowed to grow in our spirits. The walls of our hearts because dense and filthy. We continue to agonize over the same situation, not acknowledging the pain and suffering that could be pending.


During this time, I was encouraged by my husband's strength. He came home every day with the same jolly disposition he left with. He played and tickled the kids each night as they expected. He never missed an opportunity to hug and kiss me at the beginning and end of every day. He didn’t harbor over the fact there was no heat. He simply gave matter-of-fact information on a need to know basis. Therefore, we lived each day as if the Lord was going to help us. And while we were waiting on help from family, friends, agencies, He sent a total stranger!


So today, if you are living in cold place of worry I want you to just open the door to your heart and receive what God has for you.

He may not come when you want, but He’s always on time. Just a reminder!


He may not send the person you are expecting.

If you don’t allow Light in, your situation will compound itself.

Don’t ignore the signs your situation is getting worst. It may cost you your peace.

Remember it’s not just about you and your decisions will affect others.

Pray and Pray some more!

Can we stop right now and just pray?


Prayer Dear Lord, please hear our prayer. We ask for forgiveness Lord for the times we were impatient in our situation. We are so thankful that even in the worst of times, when we have closed ourselves up, you never left us. We are thankful for opportunities to praise and to worship. Lord, right now today, we are casting our worries on you so that you can use us for the upligting of your Kingdom. ~Amen

Worry Doesn’t Have a Place in Kingdom Living, Part I

For years I lived with anxiety and worry. As a child I didn’t know exactly what those feelings were called. But I’ve always known they were paralyzing. Not knowing how to adequately describe my thoughts and feelings, I kept my emotions to myself. Aside from writing in my dairy, my communication was very low key. I would look around at school, wondering who I could talk to. I would sit silently at church trying to determine which adult I could confide in. And with each attempt to open my mouth, an overpowering fear would come over me. And I would hear the questions:

What if they laugh?

What if they don’t understand?

What if they announce it in church?

What if we are no longer friends?

What would people think of me once they know?



Romans 8:6” For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.”



The violations of my physical self and my innocent mind, had consumed me. I cried a lot. I don’t think a week went by and I didn’t spend at least one full night crying trying to understand the physical attributes of anxiety and worry.

At the age of 11, I began to read the Holy Bible regularly. Previously, my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Powell had ignited such a strong desire in me by reading the stories in the Bible. Then the reading stopped abruptly and I wasn’t sure how to navigate on my own. Yet, the Holy Spirit would always lead me to the Psalm and Proverbs. I made it a point to learn a scripture a week. The Lord never left me.


Matthew 11:30 ” My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”



Many times we consume ourselves with worry. And if the day doesn’t present itself with anything to worry about, we reach back to get some stuff from yesterday. And if that’s not enough, we obsessed over how to control tomorrow. It can be a vicious cycle or merry-go-round that doesn’t immediately stop. Therefore, we have to find a jumping point and leap! And to leap we have to have faith that God’s got this!



When I was having trouble with my 8th grade math teacher, I told my parents. I didn’t have a worry in the world about that situation, because I knew the very next day, my parents would come to the school. I had faith! Also, they weren’t going to call me in for further details; it was going to be handled amongst them. The Lord works that way as well. We are to pray and not worry. Once we take it to Him, he doesn’t come back for further explanation and our assistance. I truly believe he doesn’t want us to live burdensome lives.



What’s amazing about worrying is its ability to suck the life out of any situation. Yet, we still fall victim to its hold. But I have learned that doesn’t have to be our declaration. I have learned to do something different. When I allow the spirit of worry in my life, I have to immediately react. Otherwise, I would exchange an entire day of life for worry. God doesn’t desire that I live like that.



Therefore, I seek Him. Not because I am meandering through my situation and just happen to fall upon a prayer. I seek Him first and I seek Him on purpose. My efforts to communicate with the Lord are intentional and immediate. If not, I allow doubt, over thinking, Plan A-C, and other people opinions to block out what the Lord has for me. I have been in that wilderness, marked the trees and don’t want to return!



This week I am praying for those whose life is consumed with anxiety and worry. The Lord desires peace and rest for us. I am experiencing this like never before. I desire peace for you as well. I encourage you to intentionally carve time each day just for the Lord. Open your heart to Him. Receive from Him. And then follow the instructions given. Remember, the Lord moves in His own time. Period! No further explanation. Own that statement and live in the moment you have right now, and you will find yourself on the awesome path to Peace.


God Bless You!



Prayer Lord, I am asking you to create in us a clean heart. We have worried needlessly. Please forgive us. Thank you for never leaving us and for being our Provider. You have cared for the birds of the air; surely you will take care of us also. Amen

Use Your Talents to Please God, Not People

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; ~Romans 12: 6-7


I was speaking with a colleague. She was expressing her dislike for the position she was in. She stated that she had a dental appointment and couldn’t wait because she would rather have her teeth pulled that day than to endure another day in that position! I was thinking, “Wow, oh my!” We talked a little more and I realized many of her decisions were made without consideration what her strengths and talents were. She had a creative talent in graphic design and had sold many ideas. Her face lit up when talking about her passion. It was exciting just to see the joy on her face. Yet, I could still remember the anguish when speaking about the current situation.


I wonder how many of us, lack passion for jobs we take on. How many of us lack the desire to even improve where we are? I am speaking about vocations, Pan-Hellenic committees, church committees, community organizations and everything in between. There are times we give just enough and post all we can to our resumes.


Many times we find ourselves trying to please others. An excessive desire to please can be a curse. A lot of people can’t be pleased and we can find ourselves constantly doing tricks and performing for approval and acceptance. This song and dance will always lead to hurt feelings, feeling empty and having regrets. People will allow you try and try to appease them, yet your performance will be like pouring water in a glass with no bottom.

Often we have to use so much extra energy just to endure tasks that we have signed up for. We sometimes transfer that same attitude to our service to the Lord. We sign up for committees we have no interest in. We obligate ourselves to several committees and over extend ourselves. Therefore, we are of no use to anyone. I believe most folk’s intentions are honorable. But when we are aiming to please others, the task can become burdensome.


Growing up I had a very strong desire to please the adult around me. Heaven forbid someone was disappointed in anything that I did. So, I found myself in a constant motion of making sure everyone was happy with me. The behavior fed my passive aggressive personality and left me feeling resentment many times.

We are not sure to live our lives to satisfy other people. We are here to live our lives to satisfy the Lord. Our talents belong to the Lord. Wouldn’t it awesome to be able to use your gift for the Lord on the right committee, on your job, in your business, in your daily life? Perhaps, you have forgotten or hidden talents? Carve out a little time for yourself and find out what they are.


Sincerly pray and ask yourself….

• Who am I in Christ?

• What am I currently doing to improve my talents?

• How can use my talents for the Kingdom?

• Where are my talents really needed?

• When can I get started?

All of these questions may take some serious soul searching with some honest answers, but it’s worth it! Always go to God in prayer and don’t plan without Him. I am a witness!!!

Don’t live the rest of your live trying to please others. Continue to seek God and he will give you the desires of your heart..

The Beginning of a New Day

This is the beginning of a new day.

God has given me this day to use as I will.

I can waste it or use it for good,

but what I do today is important

because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever

leaving in its place something that I have traded for it.

I want it to be gain and not loss; good and not evil:

success and not failure; in order that I shall not

regret the price I have paid for it.

~Author Unknown

Wordless Monday

Know What You Want, Then Ask

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Psalm 37:4



My grandson and I were sitting enjoying a quiet evening. After a several minutes of moving , jumping around he stopped and said he wanted something to eat. I was surprised since he views any meals as an interruption in his day. So, I followed him to the kitchen. He pointed to the “snack cabinet”. “Grandma, may I have some crackers?” he asked.

“Of course”, I said. I reached for a box of crackers and handed him a couple of Town House© crackers. “No, Grandma I don’t want that kind!”

“Really!” I exclaimed.

I reached for the Ritz© crackers that he had fallen in love with after a visit with his great grandma. “No, Grandma not those! Not that kind!”

There are no other crackers in the cabinet. So, now I am puzzled and amused. But I am really curious about his request. We are both looking at one another. He just shook his head in disbelief as if he were saying, “Really, this isn’t that complicated!”

Then he walked to the other side of the kitchen and pointed to another cabinet. This cabinet houses snacks that are not opened yet. “Open the door!” he says with excitement. I opened the cabinet door. He looks eagerly. “Grandma, I want the cracker with ONE HOLE!!” I looked at him as he held up his right index finger. I began to laugh when I saw the box of Cheezit©! He's too much!

Many times we pray and our prayers are vague. We have a particular need, yet we chose to settle because settling is easier. My grandson didn’t want the oval cracker with the 10 holes or the round cracker with 6 holes. He wanted the square cracker with ONE HOLE! He wouldn’t settle!. These boxes were already opened and available immediately. He didn’t want that. Therefore, he asked for something different.

He was persistent and he knew which cabinet to go to. I put some crackers on a napkin at the kitchen table, and Quincy smiled and bounced as he ate. He was happy.

When we take the other crackers, we cheat ourselves. Some think, “At least I have something!” When in actuality, “At least you have nothing!”

What is it that you want? Do you want the pain to stop? Do you want the abuse to stop? Do you want the anger to stop? Do you desire to learn to forgive? Do you want the drinking and smoking to stop? Do you want the promiscuity to stop?

I submit to you that if you drop down on your knees and give it ALL to the Lord, He will bring deliverance. But you will have to stay connected to the Word, from which God speaks. Your heart and mind will have to stay clear so you can hear. Therefore, you may have to divorce some people and activities from your life.

This is not easy. But you know which cabinet in your heart is still closed. Seek God, wait and allow him to renew your strength.

Reviving My Heart, My Mind, My Life

The Lord said to Moses, Why do you cry to Me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward! Lift up your rod and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, and the Israelites shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea. –Exodus 14:15-16

I am singing “Change” and in my mind’s eye, I am back at the beach and I can hear the roaring of the waves behind me. I remember the ladies gathering and expectations on their faces. It was an awesome sight. The ladies walking towards the waves. The waves roaring toward the shore.

The air was cool and the wind a little brisk. Yet, no one seemed to notice and simply embraced what God had put together. There were ladies of all ages from teens to maturity. We gathered in a circle. Silence..Roaring waves. Reverence. The circle kept growing. Soon, the voices of the women joined in the harmonious rhythm of the ocean. I listened as each woman spoke to God and my heart was stirring. I thanked God just for His presence. I thanked Him for his blessings. I thanked Him for his forgiveness. I thanked Him for his deliverance.


Today I am thanking Him for the journey and the lessons learned. I am thanking Him for the party in my heart, my mind and my life. I am thanking him for the spirit of Revival. To revise means to restore, to refresh, and to restore to life.

Is it time for you to revive some things in your life. Is it time for your joy to be restored. Is it time for life renewed. We were reminded at the beach that “it ain’t that BIG! When we compare what we are experiencing with the awesomeness of the ocean, it ain’t that big. If you can own that reality, your life will begin to change.

The shackles of depression, abuse, betrayal, financial setbacks, neglect, loneliness, abandonment, death and disease are not bigger than God. So make a decision to let it go and the Lord will meet you were you are.

Go to a quiet room or place. Don’t take your cell phone, laptop, iphone. Give God your undivided attention. Talk to the Lord and tell him all about it. Call it by name! Shame! Spousal abuse! Molestation! Anxiety! Betrayal! Shout out to the Lord for deliverance and claim the peace the Lord wants for you. The Lord really wants you to have peace. I believed that and received that!

While you are on your knees agonizing with God, ask forgiveness for all of your thoughts, actions, reactions and deeds that were contrary to His word. If you are dealing with a mean spirit, unforgiving spirit, retaliatory spirit, spirit of messiness, spirit of overindulgence, promiscuous spirit, call it what is it and ask to be delivered from that. Be honest with yourself and with the Lord!

Open your heart and really hear from God. Be patience. Don’t rush God. Besides, rushing God in the past didn’t work. It won’t work now! Live in the moment and take one day at a time.

When the waves in the ocean become too large to support themselves, they break and we witness this by seeing the whiteness at the edge of the wave. When the waves in our lives become too large and break, let go and allow the Lord to hold back the energy of the issues in life. You can then witness the whiteness of grace and mercy, forgiveness and Revival.

It’s a new day. I know the night may have been restless and the past painful. It’s a new day! Make a decision to have a Revival in your mind, in your heart and in your life.

Be Still My Thoughts and Flow...

Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God.  Psalm 42-5

At any given moment I have a million thoughts running through my mind. That has been the case my whole life. It can be annoying and intriguing at the same time. Sometimes I feel my thoughts chasing me and other times, I am chasing my thoughts. Then there are times when I need to turn it off and just clear my mind. That is the reason I started keeping a journal in 7th grade. The whole world seemed really big and it didn’t make sense. And I wanted to put all that down, so that my thoughts will be STILL!


I remember writing about people and the decisions they made. I was intrigued when people did the same thing over and over, even when the results weren’t good. I watched lives being destroyed and paths being altered. Then I saw these same people back on the same road, going the same direction, wishing for a different encounter. Maybe in the end, it worked and I didn’t notice. I was a girl looking through a very narrow window.

I remember joining the Psychology Today book club when I was in junior high school. I ordered several books. I was going to figure this out. The first books I ordered were, Helping People Change, Feelings, and Depression. The books arrived glossy and filled with so much information. And I quickly learned, for the most part, I had no idea what the books were talking about. I did not understand the language.

I approached my father, who was taking a psychology course at the time. I told him I wanted to be a psychologist. He was so excited! He presented me with his Psychology Textbook. The book was easy to read and I found delight in my quest to learn. Often he would ask me, “Do you really understand that?”

After I got the basics, I returned to my books from the Psychology Today book club. I began to realize that my quest wasn’t to understand the people around me. My quest was to understand myself. I was quiet, quirky and could be a little off beat. All of that worked as long as I stayed in my own corner. Otherwise, people were always trying to “fix” me so that I can blend it……be a chameleon. My teacher’s complained that I laughed too much and that I made faces! Well, I laughed because if felt good and I thought most people were really funny. People watching can be the most interesting thing to do! I guess the faces represented all of the thoughts in my head. Just yesterday a lady walked by my desk laughing saying, "Straighten up your face!"

I love to express creatively through poems, blogging, sewing, art quilting and music. I have found one way to get rid of the artist block that stunts creativity is too always worry about what others think you should do and how you should create. I am not speaking of the people who offer encouraging suggestions. I am speaking of people who always want to alter your dreams or your ideas for your projects. I am learning to jump out on faith and to be true to the writing and my sewing.

Many times when I speak, I have to write down my thoughts in order to stay focused. But when I write or sew in my sewing room, I feel free to just create. I feel in my spirit the Lord desires this for me as well. Peace, calmness and confidence.

There are some things I can’t change about myself, so I have embraced just being me. It’s a wonderful feeling!!

Finding My Way Back To The Lord

I remember one hot summer day year ago, I was so excited about riding my bike with my older sister. My sister had other plans of riding with her friends that didn’t include a nagging little sister. And they were clear they didn’t want me to ride along. But I insisted. As we rode and rode, I noticed we were getting further and further away from our neighborhood. I recognized some of the neighborhoods, but I had never visited any of them. As a matter of fact, we were told specifically not to go that far from home.



My sister and her friends began to peddle faster and soon I found myself lagging far behind. After a while, I could no longer see them and I no longer knew where I was. I was afraid and angry. I slowed down and looked around trying to remember the direction from which I came. I rode up and down and around one corner. There was a trailer park to my right and apartments to my left. I was lost! I didn’t know what to do and I wasn’t sure whose door to knock on to ask for help.


Soon, I saw a girl come out of a trailer home. I recognized her as a classmate of mine, we’ll call Trina. My heart was racing. She saw me and spoke and asked me to come over to her house. I told myself I would ask her parents for directions when I got inside the house. I could hear my mother’s voice, “Never go inside of your friend’s home without permission and certainly not if their parents aren’t home!” I asked if her mother was home. “Yes!” I was so happy until I entered the home. There were so many people and there was so much noise and lots of smoke. I remember feeling very hot and quite uncomfortable. I could barely breathe.



I knew I was in a bad place. No one even noticed me. And I couldn’t discern which adult to talk to. So, I slipped out of the door unnoticed, just like I slipped in. I got on my bike and I remember praying for a sign. I never had a sense of direction, and nothing around felt familiar. The sun was now setting and I remember wanting to cry. I knew that would only waste time and affect my ability to see. I rode out to the street and at one end I could see a little traffic. At the other end, there appeared to be more apartments. I decided to ride toward the traffic. The closer I got toward the intersection, the more sounds of life began to appear. There were cars, trucks and pedestrians. It seemed as if the world had opened up.



I recognized this street from riding in the car with my father. I remember a red brick house amongst a row of white houses. Remembering that house was always on my right when going toward home, I knew to turn right. The darkness was chasing me. And I knew once I made it home, I would be in so much trouble because I was late!! But I was ok with that. I wanted to go home to my family. I was yearning the safety of my home.



As I continued riding home, familiar landmarks began to appear. The bumps on the roads were familiar. The sidewalks were familiar. The corner store with the pinwheel cookies was familiar. I was so happy and the fear was fleeing from my heart. I began anticipating all the questions that would come from my mother and of course the pending punishment. I thought about all the things that could have happened and was grateful just to be going home.



I slowly walked and opened the door to a quiet house. My mother just starred as if she was waiting on a response to a question she didn’t have to ask. I started explaining how my sister and her friends ditched me and how I was just trying to find my way home. I could tell she was disappointed. I could also tell she was quite relieved to see me. I did not get the whipping I was expecting or deserved, but I was placed on punishment. I was quite happy to be confined to the safety of my home.



Recently, I found myself back on this same road feeling lost. I allowed circumstances and people to distract me. I didn’t realize it until I found myself in an unfamiliar “neighborhood”. I allowed myself to become busy and preoccupied with “stuff.” I was praying, but less than usual. I was reading the word, but not studying. I was singing, but didn’t have the physical energy to praise like I desired.



The emotional neighborhood I found myself in was loud, smoky, and filled with lots of people. I was a part of conversations I shouldn’t be. Listening to sounds and noises that disturbed my peace.



Finally, I stopped and prayed. I stood still. I listened for His voice. I looked to the clearing and saw a familiar place. I recognized the landmarks of peace and serenity. My heart became warm.



Lord, I am lost. Please help me. I am so sorry.



I never left you! Turn Right!



Lord, I wasted so much time.



It’s thrown into the sea of forgetfulness.



Lord, thank you for keeping me safe when I didn’t deserve.



I am rich in mercy.



Thank you, Lord!

Letting Tears Flow and Letting Stuff Go and Letting God be God

I returned to work on Monday and found that I had to move to another desk. I looked around at the “stuff” I had to move. There were family pictures, desk supplies, training manuals, books, certificates, and way too much paper. A newly hired associate stated, “You have a lot of stuff.” I acknowledged reminding myself how very important all of this was for the completion of my job.


I came up with a plan of action to move everything. It quickly became cumbersome and awkward, because I decided to move throughout the day and not all at once. I was taking time to read everything, making piles to review later, and also adding update material to the paper I already had. I had a notebook for this and a notebook for that! Overwhelmed, I decided to move everything to the new desk and sort later!

The next day, as I was sitting down, the associate said, “You brought everything with you. Moving is a perfect time to purge a lot of stuff!’ OMG!! And my mind jerked back to Alabaster Woman Retreat last weekend in Myrtle Beach, SC.

I remember sitting in the conference room with rapt attention. The air was energetic and the Spirit was not stagnant in the room. I was thinking about the journey to the retreat and I knew I had made a wise choice. Yet, the truth was, I had been “here” before. I have been on this path with the Lord to be delivered from my past. And certainly the Lord showed up. I learned to bless the ones who brought harm to me and to forgive.

Child, I can move you if your take everything with you. This is a perfect time to purge!

I saw the letters written on the pad, O.I.L. I am listening, taking pictures, taking notes. My rhythm is off. I put the pad down. I pick it up. I put the pad under my chair. I pick it up. I read the words. Who wrote this! I couldn’t make sense of it.

Put down your pen. Put down your pad. Do nothing. Be still.

I tried to write over the notes on the paper to make the words make sense. I feel the very real presence of the Holy Spirit.

Put down your pen. Put down your pad. Do nothing. Be still.

When you are going through, you don’t get to fast forward. You don’t have permission to decide how the Lord is going to act and who he’s going to send. You can’t write a sequel to God’s instructions.

I had been experiencing a ceiling made of glass between me and the Lord. I had an earnest desire and therefore, kept seeking. I could see it. I couldn’t touch. The ceiling remained. I had to be honest. I hadn’t completely let go. There was a part of me; I was holding back “just in case.”

This reminded me of a time when I was young and hanging at Holloway Pool in my hometown, Kinston, NC. I climbed the steps of the tallest diving board to jump for the first time. And then I changed my mind. There was a line of kids behind me on the ladder and they wouldn’t back down! So, I had to jump!

No difference in my walk. I had fought and agonized with the Lord to take the ghost of my past and allow them to be step stools. But then I was spooked when he wanted me to go into all of the rooms of my heart. I had only allowed the Lord in my living room. You know the room that is pristine with the plastic covering, where no one can sit and it’s just for company. I couldn’t allow the Lord in the bedroom with secrets. I couldn’t allow him to see me hiding in a bathroom. I couldn’t tell the Lord, what he already knew.

But God!!!!

But God!!!

I put down my pen and my pad!

The spirit is stirring around the room and my body is aching. My heart is crowded. Too much stuff! Too many papers! Too many tears! Too much time spent hiding.

I felt the firm grip of her hand. I looked at Dr. Michelle, yet I didn’t see her. My tears fell like the Niagara Falls and I let them flow…..really flow. I can’t describe what happened next. Neither the thesaurus nor dictionary.com has the words I am looking for. Some of it was clear, most of it was not. I truly let go and let God.

Then,

I heard the command, “You are not taking this back with you!”

I am whole!

You are not taking this back with you!”

I am whole!

There was thunder and lightning in my heart. The Lord struck down lies, shame, more lies; The Lord entered the rooms of my heart and ripped the thick rough black shade that blocked the light in each room. He replaced them with sheer panels of forgiveness and love. He ripped out carpet stained with dandruff, dust, blood, urine, dirt, tears. The Lord replaced it with shiny oak hardwood floors that don’t squeak when I kneel and pray.

I rejoiced and I could hear the word, “Guard your heart…”

Let go my child. Let go and seek Me.

My burden felt light knowing the Spirit was working in me. As I am standing, I see my sistah Candi approaching me. She embraced and began to pray earnestly to the Lord. And the Lord spoke….

I am not finished! There’s another room.

Not yet, Lord!

I am bigger than that room!

More time, Lord!

I have come that you might have life more abundantly!

And in the moment, I opened the door to that room. It was dark. No windows. The room held the deepest of unspeakable pain, sorrow, injury of the mind, body and soul of a little girl who just desired love. A little girl who once trusted. A little girl who once loved herself. A little girl filled with anger. A little girl forced to hold the secret or else….. Just a little girl….

But God!!!

Oh my Lord, but God!!!

God himself showed up and showed out! He ripped that door and destroyed that room. You were Chosen!

I don’t understand, Lord.

You were Chosen!

My heart sank and my sistah Candi held on.

In that moment!! In that very moment I was delivered!

You were Chosen To Survive! You are whole! PERIOD!

Thank you, Lord!

Thank you , Lord!

Thank you, Lord!


http://alabasterwoman.squarespace.com/photo-album/alabaster-sisters-getaway/

Yes, I want more, Lord!

Shout triumphantly to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Psalm 100: 1-2 Holman CSB




This morning started out a lazy feeling day. It was cool outside. The sky was bluish grey and hazy. The sun wasn't as bright yet, just peeking through the clouds. This could have been the ingredient for a melancholy mood. Yet, I was happy for Earth to be the recipient of nourishment from Heaven. I was happy for the rose bushes in my yard and the carpet of grass encasing my home. It felt really peaceful compared to Hurricane Irene a couple of weeks ago.



I am feeling so thankful and grateful just for being here. The sun arose this morning, giving me another opportunity to praise God. And I am doing just that. Just because!



Recently I was reading from the book of Proverbs, which is one of my favorite books. And my mind began to wonder. I was thinking about all of the studies and readings I have done over the past year. I was in awe of how the Lord has changed situations, circumstances and people in my life. After entertaining these thoughts for a little while, my heart swelled with joy just knowing how the Lord changed me!



Yet, a part of me felt empty. I know there are some things I haven’t fully surrendered. There are some pains, sorrows, and people I haven’t fully surrendered. And because of that, my spiritual life has become stagnant. Certainly, the Lord doesn’t desire for me a mediocre life. Jesus desires that my life is victorious in him.



It is senseless for me to sit through another powerful sermon, another stimulating discussion in Sunday school, read another inspiring blog, another thought provoking Bible study and feel great in the moment, yet not meditate immediately on what I have received. And though all of thiese activities have certainly helped me grow spiritually, the Lord is calling me to do more. I know that is what this restlessness is. And yes, I want more!



The Lord has been good to me. And I want to continue to walk in his light. I desire to open my heart to his words and to live the victorious life I am blessed with.

Gotta Get On Your Knees to Get to the Corners

Psalms 23:1 The Lord is my Shephard. I shall not want.


One of my favorite memories as a child is listening to my mother sing while she cleaned the house. Cleaning seem to be one of her favorite past times. Once we entered elementary school, we were assigned chores. These chores rotated between me and my 3 siblings. My favorite chore was washing dishes because it was always quiet, since everyone cleared out of the kitchen after meals. My least favorite was hanging clothes on the clothes line. It just seemed the clothes line went on forever and ever.

A couple of times during the year, we had to do some deep cleaning. I never looked forward to this because I knew it would take up most of the day and it had to done right the first time! We had to wash down the walls, wash windows and screens and make sure the floors were immaculate. We learned to test the floor with bare feet to ensure there was no grit.

One of my mother’s pet peeves was dirt left in the corners beneath the lower cabinets in the kitchen. So, she wasn’t satisfied that we swept and then mopped the floor. Those methods ensured we pushed the dirt further in the corners. Therefore, she instructed us to get on our knees to get the dirt we had pushed in the corners so deep you could see from afar. We would use old toothbrushes and other methods to get to the dirt.

As much as I hated doing it, the rewards were great! My mother was quite pleased at our efforts. And the kitchen floor was immaculate. The kitchens seem airy, peaceful, and clean. And it certainly was the hub of the home.

Many of us have struggled with the dirts in our lives for weeks, months, years. Depression, loneliness, anger, forgiveness, relationship issues make up some of the dirt in the corners of our lives. These issues can often fester and turn into something else when we try to do things our way or try to fix situations. We look in the mirror and the issues boldly look back at us. We drink ourselves into oblivion, the issues are regurgitated. We delete people, yet keep them on our hard drives.

When I approached the altar at church to pray, I realized my injured knee wouldn’t allow me to bow down. I stood up and held on the railing. My heart cried out and the Lord did hear my cry. Yet, I realize how important the gesture of kneeling and praying is in my life. I am thankful for yet another opportunity to Bow Down On My Knees and pray. I am grateful to Bow Down On My Knees to get in the corners!

Dirt is trying to wrestle with me and take my focus! I won’t let it. I won’t give in! I won’t quit!

We have to get on our knees, look in the corners of our hearts and allow the Lord to clean out the dirty places and replace them with His peace, His love and His joy!

Song in my heart…How Great Thou Art!

Awaiting a Bountiful Harvest

Therefore, by their fruit you will know them, Matthew 7:20


My daughter Briana, 14 and I were admiring the leaves from the patio. She knows my love of nature and quickly noted, “The leaves are changing, Mommy!” I shared in her excited and noticed just how many leaves were on the ground after Hurricane Irene.

I asked her what her favorite season was. I found her answer quite interesting. “I don’t like that question because I don’t have a favorite. I like the transitions between the seasons.” Wow, what a wonderful observation.

As I am witnessing the transition to fall, there are many green leaves on the tress. Yet acorns are falling on the patio and the tips of some leaves are turning different colors. It’s a magical time. Soon it would be cooler and time to harvest apples and pumpkins. I am looking forward to the North Carolina Mountains displaying the changing of the leaves.

But while I acknowledge what is happening in nature, the same holds true for my life. I know I am in some sort of transition. I have prayed without ceasing over the past 2-3 years. My thirst for the Word took me to new spiritual heights and I experienced the Lord in a way I hadn’t before.

I realized there were some relationships in my life that had to die. They were stressful. They were producing no good fruit. And they were sapping me of energy. Now the Lord is transitioning me to a place of peace.

I have learned my gifts belong to the Lord. So, that in all that I do, I will acknowledge the Lord. And as a result, there are gifts that I buried years ago, that the Lord had resurfaced. I can’t even keep up with the overflow of blessings!

In my season of transition, I am recognizing God’s presence and waiting to hear from Him. This new life is so foreign to me. The possibilities of the summer are slowly diminishing. I am walking into and claiming a season of harvest.

Celebrating A Man of God..Pastor Tacuma Johnson

But the natural man does not welcome what comes from God’s Spirit, because it is foolishness to him; he is not able to know it since it is evaluated spiritually. The spiritual person, however, can evaluate everything, yet he himself cannot be evaluated by anyone. 1 Corinthians 2:14-14 Holman CSB


I developed a love of reading at a very early age. My favorite thing to read was the dictionary and encyclopedia. I would lie down on the couch and spent a many summer days taken away to places beyond my capacity. One of the reasons I loved the dictionary was it provided me with words to use when I was angry or sad. Those emotions had to be suppressed, so I had to find a way to express myself in my dairy.

As a result of reading almost anything in front of me, I began yearning for an understanding of the Bible at an early age, around 10 or 11. The summer of 1975 I started trying to read the Bible from beginning to end. But I soon became overwhelmed. I had so many questions. I would go to church with a head full of questions and thoughts. And I would greet my mother at the door after she returned from work with the burning question of the day. It seemed that most adults were too busy or had so many grown up things to handle that my questions got in their way.

Yet, my yearning increased. And I would spend moments crying out to the Lord asking for forgiveness because I was afraid that I wasn’t doing something he wanted me to know. I talked to my mother about baptism and joined the church. I started going to Bible study and noticed there weren’t any youth at Bible study. I walked to Bible study with my mother and was so excited to go. I felt like a big girl. But this one particular night, the elder was reading a particular text. As he was speaking from the text, I realized he was saying something totally different from what the text said. So, I am looking around at the adults and no one is saying anything. Everyone was listening with blank stares.

I raised my hands. The elder kept talking. I continued to raise my hands. The elder finally acknowledged my hand. I asked for understanding. He scolded me for interrupting and implying he may have been incorrect. I held my head down in shame. No one spoke up. The room silenced. The elder’s chest is out, proud of his moment to set things in order.

My heart was sad and I learned then not to question anything a man of God had to say…..at least out loud. I was quiet and shy and remained that way until college. I would listen to the sermons and other’s talk about the Bible and always felt as if what the saints were saying was much more complicated than what I was reading. I was convinced the Lord would not require something of my life and then make it unattainable.

At age 15, I was blessed with a youth pastor, Pastor James Parham. And he had such enormous patience with my endless questions. He was able to teach me how to study and read the Bible so that my literal mind wouldn’t be swept away. I continued my quest to read the Bible through and when I finally got to Proverbs, I was captivated. The poetic words just spoke to my heart. The lessons were clear and concise and I knew how to research by then. And my quest continued….

I never stopped studying and the Lord never stopped placing people in my path. So, let’s fast forward to 2011. This weekend we will be celebrating the 3rd anniversary of our pastor, Pastor Tacuma Johnson, a man of God. I have sat under the teaching of Pastor Johnson with rapt attention for 3 years. He has such a deep sincere desire for the people of God to experience a real relationship with God.

He has taken the greatest book ever, the Bible, that some have made unattainable and broken it in pieces to complete the many puzzles in my life. He has never once showed impatience when I gave a blank stare meaning, “What? Huh? Say that again!”

Over the years Pastor Johnson's message has been clear. That message is that “God is your source.” From the sermon “A Sit Down Anointing' to “The Deep Things” to “ Count Yourself” he has left the congregations with messages such as:

*Seek God First”

*”God begins with the end in mind.”

*”Some people try to make you powerless and make you think they are your life line. You have the power to speak to your situation.”

*”How wonderful life would be for those who have a REAL relationship with God.” (message to the youth)

*”Worship like you care more about what God thinks!”

*”Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get to the back of the boat. And stop looking at the storm!”

*”Vison – life changes when you see it, not when you get it.”

*”Count yourself, Count Yourself New, Count Yourself Alive”

*Again.....”Seek God First” Matthew 6:33



Many of us are uncomfortable when someone speaks about how the Spirit is working through men and women of God. Please don't be distracted by my words. Celebrate with me an honorable man of God who has submitted his life to the Most High. A man who loves, honors and respects his helpmeet , Lady Dr. Michelle Johnson and father of a wonderful little girl.

When someone passes away, sometimes there are lines of people waiting to say things they never said when the person was alive. Today has presented me another opportunity to say something kind to a wonderful person.

God bless you , Pastor Johnson and thank you for allowing God to lead you.




~Blessings

Finding Peace in the Night's Storm

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5


I sat across from yet another doctor giving me an explanation for the pain and discomfort I have been suffering for months. I felt myself rushing trying to get to the end of the visit. I was so tired of being probed, touched, pushed and pulled. I must have had a distinguished look on my face when the doctor said, “How are you feeling right now?” I was trying to find the words, yet none of the thoughts in my head would stop long enough for me to verbalize what I was feeling, thinking.

I was completely numb and couldn’t rap my head around more than one issue going on at a time! Then I noticed something about how my physical body was reacting. There are times when I feel stress or anxious, I can feel my heart racing and I become irritable. Yet, this time was different. I recognize that I couldn’t capture my thoughts because most of the time that is my reality! Lol That’s one of the reasons I write.

But all morning I was singing and praising. I knew the Lord was with me. I was assured he had heard my cries in the night. I was certain he wiped my tears at the altar. And I was certain he said, “Trust me!” while in the prayer circle. Therefore, sitting across from the doctor, my mind was blank and full at the same time. The words had wings flying in head. I felt peace.

I could hear the angel the Lord sent to me after Bible study saying, “You are whole”. I have owned those words. “I am whole! I am whole! I am whole!

When sleepless nights seem to reign in my life, I try to focus my mind on something in nature that makes me feel close to the Lord. The think about long nature walks in the woods, making note of smells of the wood and the earth, the sight of tall trees; some broken some standing strong. I am in awe of how some leaves are smooth and others have rough veins throughout. There are some wild flowers and berries that are edible. Note the location. I may need them. And lastly, in my mind’s eye I can hear the glorious sounds of the birds while dashing from limb to limb.

Nature connects me with God. And closing my eyes takes me to a place where I can commune with Him and find peace.

Embrace The Possibility Of Something Different

I was listening to the discussion in Sunday School and the teacher’s word caught my attention. “Embrace the possibility of something different by making a different decision.I think there was a quiet chuckle because we all have heard that before. Yet, I carried those words with me. I soon realized why the words had now camped out in my mind. It was because years ago I had made a commitment to get to church on time. And yet, this was the second week I had been late. And though it was health related, I still felt convicted.


For me, this was a poke from my spirit reminding me from where I’ve come. I remember coming to church just in time enough to hear the sermon. All of the things that were going on before the sermon were a distraction for me. That is where I was in my life. It had gotten to a point, I wasn’t consistent in my worship life. Becoming a part of a church family would have placed people too close to me, ensuring another church hurt.

Therefore, I created space and built a wall for each person, place or thing that violated me, made me mad, hurt me; betrayed me, made me uncomfortable and list grew and grew. People from my childhood had a wall. Family members had a brick. Friends had bricks. The wall was so tall and wide, I couldn’t see anything but the wall.

One day a sister from the church, Donna, called me. We had met briefly. But I knew who she was. She spoke to me about my absence. “Who would have noticed, but my family?” I thought. She encouraged me to return and worship and to pray constantly. Her most powerful words were, “The longer you stay away, the harder it is to come back.” I knew her word were true because I was missing the fellowship less and less. Yet I knew my heart was empty and broken.

One morning, I awaken with tears in my eyes. What was I dreaming about? I tried to hold back the tears. But the dam of my heart gave in and all I could do was cry out to the Lord. I thought in the end I would be sick. But that morning, I decided to do something different.

The wall was greater than me. But I know the very wall that I thought was keeping me in, was keeping the Lord out. I was constantly in turmoil trying to convince myself that the wall was a good thing. All of this conflict! No peace!

The Lord knocked down the wall and used the bricks to create a path to him. I had tried every other path. Why not try this path….again?

I knew this time things would be different. I realize all the issues I was running from were inside of me. So, whether I went to church or watched Charles Stanley, the issues were with me! Looking in the mirror allowed me to look inside of my heart. And I owned how broken my heart was and Turned It Over to Jesus! I let it all go!!!

So, when I had the audacity to do something different, I got very different something in return.

So, I acknowledge the nudge of the spirit. In order to get all that God has for me, I need to be in place and be On Time!

Being Still and Hearing from God

I have been experiencing some medical issues and was scheduled for a procedure. I scheduled the day off from work and was prepared to “get this over with.” But the procedure had to be rescheduled to another location and time. I decided not to cancel my day off, but to work on some projects at home.


But when I woke up, my spirit was saying something different. I was restless and couldn’t focus on the jobs I intended to start. So, to wind myself down I decided to exercise. I began on the exercise bike. I carefully placed my water to the side and began my ride. I had a book in my hand on the subject of nutrition. But for the life of me I couldn’t concentrate and focus. I tried and tried and finally gave in.

I moved over to the treadmill. I started noticing a calmness coming upon me. I thought it was knowing my exercise session was coming to an end!

It was about 8:00 am and the house was quiet. I had no music on. Just quiet…..and I started thinking about the decisions I have made recently and relationships at work, church and with family. I began with why questions and answered honestly. Some answered were uncomfortable. The Lord was speaking to me softly, gently yet very clearly and firmly. And I realized had I turned on the music and started “working” in the house, I never would have heard that message. I was trying so hard not to be still.

My talents, my time, my family, my life all belong to God. Period! And I am to honor Him and to be honorable in all of my relationships. Otherwise I would be like the dogwood that use to be in my front yard, standing tall year after year, a blossom here and there, branches never full and certainly no fruit! I would rather be like the might oak tree towering over my patio in the backyard. The nuts are bountiful and provide nourishment for some and the leaves are hearty providing shade for others.

I was preparing in the evening to take my son back to college. He had decided the day before to take his twin siblings out to have a heart to heart talk with them before they enter college later this month. I thought that was great.

We decided to go eat no fat yogurt at a local shop. And then more confirmation! He said one of the things I told them was to “constantly be aware of the friends and associates you keep in your space. Pay attention to the things that their lives are producing and more importantly , pay attention to that restlessness in your spirit that lets you know 1) You aren’t where you are suppose to be and 2) You aren’t with the people you are suppose to be with.

I just wanted to jump up and run around the yogurt shop! First the Lord kept me still to hear a powerful message. And then he sent the same message from my older son to give to his siblings. And now these words are posted to Alabaster Woman Ministries!

My God! My God! I am full all over again!

Resting in the Lord

After many weeks of scorching heat, it finally rained over the weekend. It was a soft and steady rain. It reminded me of the rain showers I experienced as a child. I was standing in the kitchen and I could hear my mother in the back of mind saying, “Sit down somewhere, while the Lord does his work!” As a child I never understood what she meant by that. But I was obedient and sat in silence.


In my mind’s eye, I imagined the Lord always rearranging his living room, the thunder. Then he took a bath and once he let out the water in the bathtub, it rained on Earth. Yes, I had an overactive imagination!

This weekend when I heard that voice, I heard it differently. I was concerned about a family situation and my nights were restless. The voice said, “Be still and I will give you rest.” I immediately knew I was to sit down while the Lord did his work.

I had prayed about it, wrote about it and talked about it. Now, I have to release it and lay on my Father’s pillow and rest.

Prayer Of An African Violet

I have always loved the look of live plants. I certainly don’t have a green thumb. So, after a little investigation, I decided to purchase an African violet. The African violet originated from Africa and comes in a wide range of colors. They are quite inexpensive, so I found myself with 3 new plants.


I was so excited and anticipated each day looking for new growth and certainly the blossoms. I learned that the African violet doesn’t need a lot of water and actually thrives when the soil is “dry” to the touch. So, surely this was something I could do. I was expecting the most awesome plants by giving little water, little sunlight, and a little fertilizer.

Week after week, I would tend my lovely vibrant plants. After a while, I wasn’t as consistent. I stopped watering as much, thinking, “The plants look lovely, and don’t need any that much water anyway.”

Eventually, I stopped paying attention at all and noticed the plants slowly dying. The leaves would easily fall at the slightest touch and they discolored quite easily. I was so disappointed. But I already knew what had created the slow death of once lovely flowering vibrant African violets. It took a lot of effort, time, and energy to get the plants to begin to grow again. But they never really returned to their former glory.

That’s how we do our time with the Lord. Many times we hear a word or begin a study or hear a sermon and we feel convicted and committed to improve our relationship. We start out strong and energized. We pray diligently and earnestly. The Lord moves and allows changes in situations we are going through. Then we stop watering and feeding our spirit as much because things appear to be alright. The winds of life aren’t blowing as hard this week. The hail storms of the world have eased up a bit.

We began to slowing compromise and pray, but not study. Read, but not pray. Hear the sermon, but never meditate on the word. Then when became to notice there just isn’t enough to sustain us anyone. We have shunned and turned off our source and we began to slowly become spiritually sick. Our mood changes. Our focus changes. Our lives become out of balance.

But not to worry! The Lord is always there. He never leaves you. I want to encourage you to take your time with the Lord seriously. Begin your day with a special covering from the Lord in prayer. Take time to read scripture and always have a song in your heart.

By taking care of your spiritual life with some spirit filled water of fellowship with believers, the sunlight of prayer and fertilizer of the word we can certainly stay connected to the will of the Lord.



~Prayer Lord, help us to stay connected to you through your word and prayer. We ask for forgiveness when we have taken you for granted. Thank you for never leaving or forsaking us. ~Amen

Becoming a Mother

Day light, play ground

Weekend, circus clown


Innocence of a child

Joy of a girl

The world is my oyster

Life is my pearl


Wanna skip free

Laughing, jumping

Enjoying being me


"Now I lay me

Down to sleep"

Crying just from laughing

Gonna take a leap


Life is changing

On a different walk

Someone almost took my voice

Now I gotta talk....


Puberty in the air

Boys on my nerves

Female, male drams

All for the birds



Trying to find myself

Changing the way I look

Wanting to go back

To night lights and a book



Lord, I 'm praying the right path

Got tribulations and trials

Experienced love for the first time

Now, celebrating my vows



Our Father, who are in heaven

You taught us to pray

I wanna be like you Lord,

Each and every day.



Lord, have mercy

Have mercy on me

Carrying the burden of the world

Trying to get free



Gotta take off the layers

My spirit is being stirred

I give back my children

For them, you have a word



I wanna be like you, Lord

Saving Paving

Forgiving Living

Holding Molding

Keeping Weeping

Bringing Clinging

Springing Singing

Hearing Peering

Dying Crying

Liking Striking

Shining Dining

Healing Feeling

And

Blessing

Me!



Yolanda L. Grier

Effectual and Fervent Prayer

My soul is still beaming from the intercessory prayer on Wednesday. The Lord has been speaking to me over the last several months and I have experienced a sort of restlessness. I received the words that were spoken on Wednesday!!


I accepted the challenge the other week and intensified my devotion. I needed to focus more on Effectual Fervent Praying. That decision alone has been life changing. I received yet another confirmation when our assigned reading for our Deaconess meeting was “A Prescription for Effectual Fervent Praying.” I was so excited about that chapter I was about to burst in the meeting.

I felt I needed to go deeper and decided to meditate on a specific scripture. On Sunday, the Pastor asked that we meditate on God’s word this week. Confirmation! If the answer to my prayer is in the Word, I will certainly be in place. I was truly ecstatic about that directive!

I have realized the anxiousness in my spirit is a process. I also realized that there should be “nothing between my soul and my savior.”

I ask that you all pray for me so that I can stay focused and not so easily distracted.

Thank you God for saving me!

Heeding the First Signs

Heeding the First Signs




From my desk at work I have a clear view of the first aid kit that sits on a cabinet outside a Team manager’s desk. I often wonder about the contents. Or if they have been replenished? I imagine there are adhesive bandages, instant cold compresses, antibiotic ointments, and gauzes. If there is a minor medical issue, the first aid kit will be a welcome sight. Often times if the first signs of a medical are handled correctly, major consequences can be lessened or eliminated.

When we apply this to our Spiritual lives, we can arm ourselves in a mighty way to avoid many issues that continue to make us sin-sick. Dr. Michelle Johnson, in her blog , http://alabasterwoman.squarespace.com/ reminds us “Give no place for the Devil. Ephesians 4:70 and Resist the Devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7.”

My twins are going off to college soon and we have to make sure their immunizations records are in order and up to date. Vaccines help to resist some diseases. But in order for that to work, you actually must get vaccinated. To resist issues that can make us sick, such as anger, worry, gossip, emotional pain and the like, we must protect ourselves.

Four ways to do this….

1. Have a song in your heart.

There’s a Sweet, Sweet Spirit in this Place
And I know that it’s the Spirit of the Lord


The lyrics of this song have often taken me from the depths of depression to the heights of praise. What is your song?



2. Scripture on your mind.

Matthew 6:33

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

When I focus on this scripture, the cares of the world and circumstances in which I have no control are put in their rightful place. God is first in my life. And though I don’t always get it right, the Word leads me back to the right path.

3. Testimony in your mouth.

God is greater than anything we go through. And we all have a testimony. But we must give it away. It’s not ours to keep. We are to share and testify about the blessings and the goodness of the Lord. I can remember a time in my life when I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I cried through the day. I cried watching certain events on TV. I heard this song, “Tears are a Language God Understands”. The song helped lead me to a deeper reliance on God.



4. Prayer in your life

We encounter so many challenges in our lives that can derail us. Yet, none is greater than God. But we must clear the things in our lives that are blocking God. We must clear the clutter of deceit and jealously. We must downsides our “too busy” schedules and make time to communicate with God.

Having a prayer life helps to center us. Prayers remind us that we are not in control. Prayer helps us to be patient.



5. Praise in your heart

Psalm 100:1-2

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

Praise Him! Praise Him! Praise Him! Praise Him for his son. Praise Him for life, health and strength. Praise Him for your life experiences. Praise Him for forgiveness and another chance to get it right.


Place these 4 points in your Spiritual first aid kit along with God’s word. Guard your heart and stay in earnest prayer.

Accepting God's Love

The teenage years can be filled with insecurities, lack of self-esteem and emotional roll-coasters. I remember not feeling worthy and not being able to receive compliments. It was a very interesting period. It was very hard to accept that people could love unconditionally.


But that is how God’s love is. His love is unconditional and abundant. It is ours for the receiving. And the Lord leaves that decision to us. It is not forced.

So consider how life looks when you have accepted God’s love. It’s a newness and freshness like after a Spring rain. The words we speak should be different. We should be more considerate of people. We should exercise patience with people going through difficult times. And more importantly, the love we receive should be freely given to others.

Some of life’s experiences can make us close our heart to the goodness and love given by the Most High. Pray daily for a clean heart, an open heart and forgiving heart so that we can continue to give God our best.


1 John 4:7 (New International Version, ©2011)
God’s Love and Ours
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Letting Go!

My spouse and I were talking about our early college years the other day. I arrived at college a very hurt, confused, closed off, and quiet girl. I had carried the burden of hurt, shame, and an unforgiving spirit. I spent most of my nights crying and most of my free days sleeping. I was an emotional mess. I lived for years in this state. I tried wearing a brave, strong face, but my inside was ripped and my soul was sad and my spirit severely hurt. For years, I never knew there was another way to live….or another way to feel.


In order to keep myself safe, I blocked people from my life. But in doing so, I blocked the bad things and blessings meant for my life. I began to seek God in a deeper way. I heard a sermon at a women’s day celebration about 20 years ago and the speaker kept saying, “You have to get on your knees and stay on knees and agonize with God!” Those words resonated with me and I instantly changed my prayer life. I was suffering and going deeper and deeper into a depressive state.

That was the beginning of the Lord guiding me out of such a dark tunnel. There were so many people and events I was holding on to. I was holding on to actions, words, dates, etc. All of these things had me bound. I tried over and over to forgive and forget. And so often, I thought I had. But events in my everyday life reminded me that I had not been freed.

Finally, I let God have His way! I was trying to give pieces of myself on my terms to the Lord. How many know that didn’t work! I had to know where the line was. I had to be committed to the change I was seeking. And when I got it wrong, I had to GET UP and allow God to renew my spirit. There are days still, when I don’t get it right. But the difference is I have learned to stay on my knees and cry out to the Lord.

I experienced a freedom in the Lord so deep and so real, that I am getting to know myself all over again.

Thank God!

I am also in awe of God's greatness. He is truly faithful and I am so grateful to Him for never forsaking me. This week I loaded pictures of myself from when I was a teenager and a young adult. This was an important process for me for my healing. Many people from my hometown responded with memories of time spent hanging out and remembering my smile. Of the 306 people who graduated with me, only one person knew how sad I was inside. Only one person knew I cried myself to sleep almost every night. A teacher or two noticed I cried in class sometimes, but they dare not ask.



It had been years since I viewed the pictures. That was on purpose. I always saw the broken heart and broken trust whenever I looked at my childhood pictures. This time I saw the little girl the Lord has been waiting on! This time I saw the hope in my face. I realized that the Lord never, ever left me. He brought me to my knees so that I can depend on Him and to seek His face.



I can barely finish this note at my desk, tearing and the presence of God is all over me. I thought I was just going to write about a simple experience. But it's more than that. I am free! I am free from the pain! I am free from the mistrust! I am free from the anger! And mostly I am free from an unforgiving spirit.



Lord, I thank you! Lord, I thank you! Lord! Lord! Lord!



Please sisters pray with me! Hallelujah!



Lord I need you! Lord, I praise you! Lord, I thank you just for being you and never leaving me!!!

I encourage you to let go and let God! There is freedom in Christ when you release people and events that have represented themselves as strongholds in your life. Take some time daily to meditate on the word and allow God to fill your heart and flood out things that shouldn’t be there.

Remember Me!

I was thinking about the lives that crossed mine at the church I attend, Greater First United Baptist Church. Some are sick in their bodies, other gone home.This poem was born out of thoses memories.......

Remember Me

“Remember me!” I say to the rafters

While praising my Lord

I greeted you with a smile

As I opened the church door

Some were never touched through the week

I greeted you with a kiss,

I sat with white socks gleaming

‘Til service was dismissed

My hair grayed, bones weakened

I marched to the choir’s beat,

Sunday school, moist cakes, Bible study

The Lord blessed me to speak

With squinted eyes and a jolly heart

I always stopped to play

For the child in me reminded me

Of the blessing of a new day

Red hats, yellow hats, blue hats,

That added charm to my cane

Body given in, spirit rejoicing

While I called out His name

Sweat glistened on my brow

While I fervently praised in song

Shoes off, hands raised

Worshipping and singing along

“Remember me!” Whether going home

Convalescent or going through

Thank the Lord for life and health.

Remember we once shared a pew.