Finding My Way Back To The Lord

I remember one hot summer day year ago, I was so excited about riding my bike with my older sister. My sister had other plans of riding with her friends that didn’t include a nagging little sister. And they were clear they didn’t want me to ride along. But I insisted. As we rode and rode, I noticed we were getting further and further away from our neighborhood. I recognized some of the neighborhoods, but I had never visited any of them. As a matter of fact, we were told specifically not to go that far from home.



My sister and her friends began to peddle faster and soon I found myself lagging far behind. After a while, I could no longer see them and I no longer knew where I was. I was afraid and angry. I slowed down and looked around trying to remember the direction from which I came. I rode up and down and around one corner. There was a trailer park to my right and apartments to my left. I was lost! I didn’t know what to do and I wasn’t sure whose door to knock on to ask for help.


Soon, I saw a girl come out of a trailer home. I recognized her as a classmate of mine, we’ll call Trina. My heart was racing. She saw me and spoke and asked me to come over to her house. I told myself I would ask her parents for directions when I got inside the house. I could hear my mother’s voice, “Never go inside of your friend’s home without permission and certainly not if their parents aren’t home!” I asked if her mother was home. “Yes!” I was so happy until I entered the home. There were so many people and there was so much noise and lots of smoke. I remember feeling very hot and quite uncomfortable. I could barely breathe.



I knew I was in a bad place. No one even noticed me. And I couldn’t discern which adult to talk to. So, I slipped out of the door unnoticed, just like I slipped in. I got on my bike and I remember praying for a sign. I never had a sense of direction, and nothing around felt familiar. The sun was now setting and I remember wanting to cry. I knew that would only waste time and affect my ability to see. I rode out to the street and at one end I could see a little traffic. At the other end, there appeared to be more apartments. I decided to ride toward the traffic. The closer I got toward the intersection, the more sounds of life began to appear. There were cars, trucks and pedestrians. It seemed as if the world had opened up.



I recognized this street from riding in the car with my father. I remember a red brick house amongst a row of white houses. Remembering that house was always on my right when going toward home, I knew to turn right. The darkness was chasing me. And I knew once I made it home, I would be in so much trouble because I was late!! But I was ok with that. I wanted to go home to my family. I was yearning the safety of my home.



As I continued riding home, familiar landmarks began to appear. The bumps on the roads were familiar. The sidewalks were familiar. The corner store with the pinwheel cookies was familiar. I was so happy and the fear was fleeing from my heart. I began anticipating all the questions that would come from my mother and of course the pending punishment. I thought about all the things that could have happened and was grateful just to be going home.



I slowly walked and opened the door to a quiet house. My mother just starred as if she was waiting on a response to a question she didn’t have to ask. I started explaining how my sister and her friends ditched me and how I was just trying to find my way home. I could tell she was disappointed. I could also tell she was quite relieved to see me. I did not get the whipping I was expecting or deserved, but I was placed on punishment. I was quite happy to be confined to the safety of my home.



Recently, I found myself back on this same road feeling lost. I allowed circumstances and people to distract me. I didn’t realize it until I found myself in an unfamiliar “neighborhood”. I allowed myself to become busy and preoccupied with “stuff.” I was praying, but less than usual. I was reading the word, but not studying. I was singing, but didn’t have the physical energy to praise like I desired.



The emotional neighborhood I found myself in was loud, smoky, and filled with lots of people. I was a part of conversations I shouldn’t be. Listening to sounds and noises that disturbed my peace.



Finally, I stopped and prayed. I stood still. I listened for His voice. I looked to the clearing and saw a familiar place. I recognized the landmarks of peace and serenity. My heart became warm.



Lord, I am lost. Please help me. I am so sorry.



I never left you! Turn Right!



Lord, I wasted so much time.



It’s thrown into the sea of forgetfulness.



Lord, thank you for keeping me safe when I didn’t deserve.



I am rich in mercy.



Thank you, Lord!