The Beginning of a New Day

This is the beginning of a new day.

God has given me this day to use as I will.

I can waste it or use it for good,

but what I do today is important

because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever

leaving in its place something that I have traded for it.

I want it to be gain and not loss; good and not evil:

success and not failure; in order that I shall not

regret the price I have paid for it.

~Author Unknown

Wordless Monday

Know What You Want, Then Ask

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Psalm 37:4



My grandson and I were sitting enjoying a quiet evening. After a several minutes of moving , jumping around he stopped and said he wanted something to eat. I was surprised since he views any meals as an interruption in his day. So, I followed him to the kitchen. He pointed to the “snack cabinet”. “Grandma, may I have some crackers?” he asked.

“Of course”, I said. I reached for a box of crackers and handed him a couple of Town House© crackers. “No, Grandma I don’t want that kind!”

“Really!” I exclaimed.

I reached for the Ritz© crackers that he had fallen in love with after a visit with his great grandma. “No, Grandma not those! Not that kind!”

There are no other crackers in the cabinet. So, now I am puzzled and amused. But I am really curious about his request. We are both looking at one another. He just shook his head in disbelief as if he were saying, “Really, this isn’t that complicated!”

Then he walked to the other side of the kitchen and pointed to another cabinet. This cabinet houses snacks that are not opened yet. “Open the door!” he says with excitement. I opened the cabinet door. He looks eagerly. “Grandma, I want the cracker with ONE HOLE!!” I looked at him as he held up his right index finger. I began to laugh when I saw the box of Cheezit©! He's too much!

Many times we pray and our prayers are vague. We have a particular need, yet we chose to settle because settling is easier. My grandson didn’t want the oval cracker with the 10 holes or the round cracker with 6 holes. He wanted the square cracker with ONE HOLE! He wouldn’t settle!. These boxes were already opened and available immediately. He didn’t want that. Therefore, he asked for something different.

He was persistent and he knew which cabinet to go to. I put some crackers on a napkin at the kitchen table, and Quincy smiled and bounced as he ate. He was happy.

When we take the other crackers, we cheat ourselves. Some think, “At least I have something!” When in actuality, “At least you have nothing!”

What is it that you want? Do you want the pain to stop? Do you want the abuse to stop? Do you want the anger to stop? Do you desire to learn to forgive? Do you want the drinking and smoking to stop? Do you want the promiscuity to stop?

I submit to you that if you drop down on your knees and give it ALL to the Lord, He will bring deliverance. But you will have to stay connected to the Word, from which God speaks. Your heart and mind will have to stay clear so you can hear. Therefore, you may have to divorce some people and activities from your life.

This is not easy. But you know which cabinet in your heart is still closed. Seek God, wait and allow him to renew your strength.

Reviving My Heart, My Mind, My Life

The Lord said to Moses, Why do you cry to Me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward! Lift up your rod and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, and the Israelites shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea. –Exodus 14:15-16

I am singing “Change” and in my mind’s eye, I am back at the beach and I can hear the roaring of the waves behind me. I remember the ladies gathering and expectations on their faces. It was an awesome sight. The ladies walking towards the waves. The waves roaring toward the shore.

The air was cool and the wind a little brisk. Yet, no one seemed to notice and simply embraced what God had put together. There were ladies of all ages from teens to maturity. We gathered in a circle. Silence..Roaring waves. Reverence. The circle kept growing. Soon, the voices of the women joined in the harmonious rhythm of the ocean. I listened as each woman spoke to God and my heart was stirring. I thanked God just for His presence. I thanked Him for his blessings. I thanked Him for his forgiveness. I thanked Him for his deliverance.


Today I am thanking Him for the journey and the lessons learned. I am thanking Him for the party in my heart, my mind and my life. I am thanking him for the spirit of Revival. To revise means to restore, to refresh, and to restore to life.

Is it time for you to revive some things in your life. Is it time for your joy to be restored. Is it time for life renewed. We were reminded at the beach that “it ain’t that BIG! When we compare what we are experiencing with the awesomeness of the ocean, it ain’t that big. If you can own that reality, your life will begin to change.

The shackles of depression, abuse, betrayal, financial setbacks, neglect, loneliness, abandonment, death and disease are not bigger than God. So make a decision to let it go and the Lord will meet you were you are.

Go to a quiet room or place. Don’t take your cell phone, laptop, iphone. Give God your undivided attention. Talk to the Lord and tell him all about it. Call it by name! Shame! Spousal abuse! Molestation! Anxiety! Betrayal! Shout out to the Lord for deliverance and claim the peace the Lord wants for you. The Lord really wants you to have peace. I believed that and received that!

While you are on your knees agonizing with God, ask forgiveness for all of your thoughts, actions, reactions and deeds that were contrary to His word. If you are dealing with a mean spirit, unforgiving spirit, retaliatory spirit, spirit of messiness, spirit of overindulgence, promiscuous spirit, call it what is it and ask to be delivered from that. Be honest with yourself and with the Lord!

Open your heart and really hear from God. Be patience. Don’t rush God. Besides, rushing God in the past didn’t work. It won’t work now! Live in the moment and take one day at a time.

When the waves in the ocean become too large to support themselves, they break and we witness this by seeing the whiteness at the edge of the wave. When the waves in our lives become too large and break, let go and allow the Lord to hold back the energy of the issues in life. You can then witness the whiteness of grace and mercy, forgiveness and Revival.

It’s a new day. I know the night may have been restless and the past painful. It’s a new day! Make a decision to have a Revival in your mind, in your heart and in your life.

Be Still My Thoughts and Flow...

Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God.  Psalm 42-5

At any given moment I have a million thoughts running through my mind. That has been the case my whole life. It can be annoying and intriguing at the same time. Sometimes I feel my thoughts chasing me and other times, I am chasing my thoughts. Then there are times when I need to turn it off and just clear my mind. That is the reason I started keeping a journal in 7th grade. The whole world seemed really big and it didn’t make sense. And I wanted to put all that down, so that my thoughts will be STILL!


I remember writing about people and the decisions they made. I was intrigued when people did the same thing over and over, even when the results weren’t good. I watched lives being destroyed and paths being altered. Then I saw these same people back on the same road, going the same direction, wishing for a different encounter. Maybe in the end, it worked and I didn’t notice. I was a girl looking through a very narrow window.

I remember joining the Psychology Today book club when I was in junior high school. I ordered several books. I was going to figure this out. The first books I ordered were, Helping People Change, Feelings, and Depression. The books arrived glossy and filled with so much information. And I quickly learned, for the most part, I had no idea what the books were talking about. I did not understand the language.

I approached my father, who was taking a psychology course at the time. I told him I wanted to be a psychologist. He was so excited! He presented me with his Psychology Textbook. The book was easy to read and I found delight in my quest to learn. Often he would ask me, “Do you really understand that?”

After I got the basics, I returned to my books from the Psychology Today book club. I began to realize that my quest wasn’t to understand the people around me. My quest was to understand myself. I was quiet, quirky and could be a little off beat. All of that worked as long as I stayed in my own corner. Otherwise, people were always trying to “fix” me so that I can blend it……be a chameleon. My teacher’s complained that I laughed too much and that I made faces! Well, I laughed because if felt good and I thought most people were really funny. People watching can be the most interesting thing to do! I guess the faces represented all of the thoughts in my head. Just yesterday a lady walked by my desk laughing saying, "Straighten up your face!"

I love to express creatively through poems, blogging, sewing, art quilting and music. I have found one way to get rid of the artist block that stunts creativity is too always worry about what others think you should do and how you should create. I am not speaking of the people who offer encouraging suggestions. I am speaking of people who always want to alter your dreams or your ideas for your projects. I am learning to jump out on faith and to be true to the writing and my sewing.

Many times when I speak, I have to write down my thoughts in order to stay focused. But when I write or sew in my sewing room, I feel free to just create. I feel in my spirit the Lord desires this for me as well. Peace, calmness and confidence.

There are some things I can’t change about myself, so I have embraced just being me. It’s a wonderful feeling!!

Finding My Way Back To The Lord

I remember one hot summer day year ago, I was so excited about riding my bike with my older sister. My sister had other plans of riding with her friends that didn’t include a nagging little sister. And they were clear they didn’t want me to ride along. But I insisted. As we rode and rode, I noticed we were getting further and further away from our neighborhood. I recognized some of the neighborhoods, but I had never visited any of them. As a matter of fact, we were told specifically not to go that far from home.



My sister and her friends began to peddle faster and soon I found myself lagging far behind. After a while, I could no longer see them and I no longer knew where I was. I was afraid and angry. I slowed down and looked around trying to remember the direction from which I came. I rode up and down and around one corner. There was a trailer park to my right and apartments to my left. I was lost! I didn’t know what to do and I wasn’t sure whose door to knock on to ask for help.


Soon, I saw a girl come out of a trailer home. I recognized her as a classmate of mine, we’ll call Trina. My heart was racing. She saw me and spoke and asked me to come over to her house. I told myself I would ask her parents for directions when I got inside the house. I could hear my mother’s voice, “Never go inside of your friend’s home without permission and certainly not if their parents aren’t home!” I asked if her mother was home. “Yes!” I was so happy until I entered the home. There were so many people and there was so much noise and lots of smoke. I remember feeling very hot and quite uncomfortable. I could barely breathe.



I knew I was in a bad place. No one even noticed me. And I couldn’t discern which adult to talk to. So, I slipped out of the door unnoticed, just like I slipped in. I got on my bike and I remember praying for a sign. I never had a sense of direction, and nothing around felt familiar. The sun was now setting and I remember wanting to cry. I knew that would only waste time and affect my ability to see. I rode out to the street and at one end I could see a little traffic. At the other end, there appeared to be more apartments. I decided to ride toward the traffic. The closer I got toward the intersection, the more sounds of life began to appear. There were cars, trucks and pedestrians. It seemed as if the world had opened up.



I recognized this street from riding in the car with my father. I remember a red brick house amongst a row of white houses. Remembering that house was always on my right when going toward home, I knew to turn right. The darkness was chasing me. And I knew once I made it home, I would be in so much trouble because I was late!! But I was ok with that. I wanted to go home to my family. I was yearning the safety of my home.



As I continued riding home, familiar landmarks began to appear. The bumps on the roads were familiar. The sidewalks were familiar. The corner store with the pinwheel cookies was familiar. I was so happy and the fear was fleeing from my heart. I began anticipating all the questions that would come from my mother and of course the pending punishment. I thought about all the things that could have happened and was grateful just to be going home.



I slowly walked and opened the door to a quiet house. My mother just starred as if she was waiting on a response to a question she didn’t have to ask. I started explaining how my sister and her friends ditched me and how I was just trying to find my way home. I could tell she was disappointed. I could also tell she was quite relieved to see me. I did not get the whipping I was expecting or deserved, but I was placed on punishment. I was quite happy to be confined to the safety of my home.



Recently, I found myself back on this same road feeling lost. I allowed circumstances and people to distract me. I didn’t realize it until I found myself in an unfamiliar “neighborhood”. I allowed myself to become busy and preoccupied with “stuff.” I was praying, but less than usual. I was reading the word, but not studying. I was singing, but didn’t have the physical energy to praise like I desired.



The emotional neighborhood I found myself in was loud, smoky, and filled with lots of people. I was a part of conversations I shouldn’t be. Listening to sounds and noises that disturbed my peace.



Finally, I stopped and prayed. I stood still. I listened for His voice. I looked to the clearing and saw a familiar place. I recognized the landmarks of peace and serenity. My heart became warm.



Lord, I am lost. Please help me. I am so sorry.



I never left you! Turn Right!



Lord, I wasted so much time.



It’s thrown into the sea of forgetfulness.



Lord, thank you for keeping me safe when I didn’t deserve.



I am rich in mercy.



Thank you, Lord!

Letting Tears Flow and Letting Stuff Go and Letting God be God

I returned to work on Monday and found that I had to move to another desk. I looked around at the “stuff” I had to move. There were family pictures, desk supplies, training manuals, books, certificates, and way too much paper. A newly hired associate stated, “You have a lot of stuff.” I acknowledged reminding myself how very important all of this was for the completion of my job.


I came up with a plan of action to move everything. It quickly became cumbersome and awkward, because I decided to move throughout the day and not all at once. I was taking time to read everything, making piles to review later, and also adding update material to the paper I already had. I had a notebook for this and a notebook for that! Overwhelmed, I decided to move everything to the new desk and sort later!

The next day, as I was sitting down, the associate said, “You brought everything with you. Moving is a perfect time to purge a lot of stuff!’ OMG!! And my mind jerked back to Alabaster Woman Retreat last weekend in Myrtle Beach, SC.

I remember sitting in the conference room with rapt attention. The air was energetic and the Spirit was not stagnant in the room. I was thinking about the journey to the retreat and I knew I had made a wise choice. Yet, the truth was, I had been “here” before. I have been on this path with the Lord to be delivered from my past. And certainly the Lord showed up. I learned to bless the ones who brought harm to me and to forgive.

Child, I can move you if your take everything with you. This is a perfect time to purge!

I saw the letters written on the pad, O.I.L. I am listening, taking pictures, taking notes. My rhythm is off. I put the pad down. I pick it up. I put the pad under my chair. I pick it up. I read the words. Who wrote this! I couldn’t make sense of it.

Put down your pen. Put down your pad. Do nothing. Be still.

I tried to write over the notes on the paper to make the words make sense. I feel the very real presence of the Holy Spirit.

Put down your pen. Put down your pad. Do nothing. Be still.

When you are going through, you don’t get to fast forward. You don’t have permission to decide how the Lord is going to act and who he’s going to send. You can’t write a sequel to God’s instructions.

I had been experiencing a ceiling made of glass between me and the Lord. I had an earnest desire and therefore, kept seeking. I could see it. I couldn’t touch. The ceiling remained. I had to be honest. I hadn’t completely let go. There was a part of me; I was holding back “just in case.”

This reminded me of a time when I was young and hanging at Holloway Pool in my hometown, Kinston, NC. I climbed the steps of the tallest diving board to jump for the first time. And then I changed my mind. There was a line of kids behind me on the ladder and they wouldn’t back down! So, I had to jump!

No difference in my walk. I had fought and agonized with the Lord to take the ghost of my past and allow them to be step stools. But then I was spooked when he wanted me to go into all of the rooms of my heart. I had only allowed the Lord in my living room. You know the room that is pristine with the plastic covering, where no one can sit and it’s just for company. I couldn’t allow the Lord in the bedroom with secrets. I couldn’t allow him to see me hiding in a bathroom. I couldn’t tell the Lord, what he already knew.

But God!!!!

But God!!!

I put down my pen and my pad!

The spirit is stirring around the room and my body is aching. My heart is crowded. Too much stuff! Too many papers! Too many tears! Too much time spent hiding.

I felt the firm grip of her hand. I looked at Dr. Michelle, yet I didn’t see her. My tears fell like the Niagara Falls and I let them flow…..really flow. I can’t describe what happened next. Neither the thesaurus nor dictionary.com has the words I am looking for. Some of it was clear, most of it was not. I truly let go and let God.

Then,

I heard the command, “You are not taking this back with you!”

I am whole!

You are not taking this back with you!”

I am whole!

There was thunder and lightning in my heart. The Lord struck down lies, shame, more lies; The Lord entered the rooms of my heart and ripped the thick rough black shade that blocked the light in each room. He replaced them with sheer panels of forgiveness and love. He ripped out carpet stained with dandruff, dust, blood, urine, dirt, tears. The Lord replaced it with shiny oak hardwood floors that don’t squeak when I kneel and pray.

I rejoiced and I could hear the word, “Guard your heart…”

Let go my child. Let go and seek Me.

My burden felt light knowing the Spirit was working in me. As I am standing, I see my sistah Candi approaching me. She embraced and began to pray earnestly to the Lord. And the Lord spoke….

I am not finished! There’s another room.

Not yet, Lord!

I am bigger than that room!

More time, Lord!

I have come that you might have life more abundantly!

And in the moment, I opened the door to that room. It was dark. No windows. The room held the deepest of unspeakable pain, sorrow, injury of the mind, body and soul of a little girl who just desired love. A little girl who once trusted. A little girl who once loved herself. A little girl filled with anger. A little girl forced to hold the secret or else….. Just a little girl….

But God!!!

Oh my Lord, but God!!!

God himself showed up and showed out! He ripped that door and destroyed that room. You were Chosen!

I don’t understand, Lord.

You were Chosen!

My heart sank and my sistah Candi held on.

In that moment!! In that very moment I was delivered!

You were Chosen To Survive! You are whole! PERIOD!

Thank you, Lord!

Thank you , Lord!

Thank you, Lord!


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