Let's Not Accept The Game...For Our Daughters

I remember finally arriving at the college of my choice. As I walked on the campus, I realized a whole new world had opened up for me. I was excited and nervous at the same timed. Our freshman week was designed to handle all of the mundane transactions that come along with registration and getting to know your peers. During orientation, we were given royal blue folders to hold all the contents being passed out that week. The week was filled with fun events from a pool party to lecture by the Chancellor.


The Interest Meeting

When I was a child, I spoke like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put aside childish things. I Corinthians 13:11

Suddenly, the tide changed. The upperclassman returned. There seem to be a lot more attention and a lot more forward introductions. The preliminary question I remember the most was, “Are you a freshmen?’” Hmmmmmmmmm how did he know? Upon reflecting on this question being asked over and over, my home girl, an upperclassman, said, “The blue folder! All of you have them!”We laughed hysterically!! It was as if we marked ourselves. This was the beginning of the The Game.

The Sign Up

The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harms. Proverbs 13:20

Now you are walking on campus , at the club, at work and you are working it my sisters! I remember the signals going out saying, “I am available.” He is hearing, “I can get that!”After hours or days of gazing, the questions pops, “What’s up Shortee! What’s up my sister? Hello, you have a wonderful smile.”After a little convo, you give him your cell number, your alternate number, your face book id, your twitter, your dorm info, your apartment infor. He gives you his number. Your heart is racing because you have committed to the game. You saw him for the first time today. He saw you when you arrived.

The Practice

They lie to one another; they speak with flattering lies and deceptive hearts. Psalm 12:2

The days are sunny even when the sky sends showers and you can’t wait to hear his voice. You’ve had endless conversations for days. But you haven’t considered you are the one calling, texting, calling some more. He is actually only returning your calls or text messages. Something in your spirit is uneasy, but you chalk it up to the excitement of something new.

Finally, alone…He makes you laugh. But you never think that each time you laugh, no one else hears your hearty laughter. “I love the way you walk.” Yet no one sees you walking together. And though the compliment was sincere, you hear, “Girl I want to see you walking down the aisle!”And it is that message that drives your behavior. In your mind, you picked a date, had a ceremony and named the kids.

He is occupying a lot of your time. He brings up sex, but not directly. He is feeling you out and cautious about rejection. The elephant is in the room and moving. He won’t put a label on the relationship. You won’t either, waiting on him. “Let’s chill and see what happens.”

You keep reminding yourself how fine that boy is! And your girlfriends chime in, but with caution. You are thinking “They are haters.” The girlfriends are thinking, “I saw that boy crawl out of Gloria’s room”.

He is loving your company and joins in the laughing sessions. Your mind says, “Did I see the back of him coming out of Gloria’s room. If so, he already said that’s his home girl.”

He can’t move past how good you look, how your hips move and how soft your skin is. At this point Note to Self “You knew that anyway!” The way you dress informs him of what is important to you. Therefore if you are dressing like a lady and he acknowledges that that’s a good thing. Though, this areas reflect low self-esteem, he notices that as well.



The Scrimmage

Good sense wins favor, but the way of the treacherous never changes. Proverbs 13:15

The room is uncomfortably quiet. You have finally arrived to his room or apartment. Though he has been undressing you with his eyes for days or weeks, he is caught off guard you came tonight. He moves swiftly through the living room and fast track to the bedroom. He talks more to kill the silence to put you at ease. The room is void of pictures.

The lights are dim. Dim lights cause people to stand 40 % closer. Less talking. TV on and music playing. His phone rings. He doesn’t answer.

He catches your gaze and won’t let go. You smile and immediately look down. Your spirit has a moment to intercede.

“Grab your coat of many colors and run!”

Then the kiss! Omg! The Kiss! Your bodies are now closer. You feel a bit uncomfortable. Yet you tell yourself it’s too late to push away. Your insides are screaming, “No!” Your body is shaking from nervousness. He believes it’s his prowess. All ego! Nothing to do with him.

Your spirit “We shouldn’t be here. He has been MIA for the last several days.”

This moment is nothing like you imagined. The air is still. Your eyes are closed so that you won’t feel. The room is dark…..

This is a test of the Emergency Self-Talk System

Coming soon Part II The game

Lord, It's Too Much

Crying out in silence

Pain through the night

Lord, it’s too much


Arms stretched out to you

Please relieve this hurt

Lord, it’s too much


Tsunami of emotional wars

Ripping through my soul

Lord, it’s too much


Waves of neglect and rejection

In foster homes abound
Lord, it’s too much


Noise in my mind

Trying to silence your voice

Lord, it’s too much


Behold my child

I’ve parted the Red Sea

Because I loved you that much!



Be still my child

I have calmed the storm

Because I loved you that much!


Rejoice my daughter

I have healed the leper

Because I love you that much!


Praise my beloved

I sent my son to die for your sins

Because I love you that much!


Be thankful my child

I sent the clouds in your life to place the Son in your heart

Because I love you that much


SMH

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Lord!


YOU ARE JUST TOO MUCH!!!!!!



~Yolanda Grier

Courage to Make a Change

Do not be afraid of the enemy; remember the Lord and imprint Him(on your minds), great and terrible, and (take from Him courage to)fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes. Nehemiah 4:14




This month promises to be filled with challenges that are designed to help me grow as a person, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I have decided to simply do something different. We all have been at a cross road where we had to make that very decision. The decision comes sometimes while going through a crisis and at times when there is silence. Either way, decisions made at cross roads are important. We can chose to turn right, left, go back or stand in fear and simply not move. We can chose to travel the road alone, pick up someone alone the way, drop some folk off or go back and dip in our past.

I am blessed because the Lord is the answer of prayers. And he is equipping me with the courage to do what I need to do so that I can be used even more in the building of the Kingdom. I know this because the distractions of the week have confirmed I am on the right track.

*Health issues, more appointments no answers

*School started, no books

*Love one, family members preparing for the worst

Yet I recognize all of these as blessings from God reminding me He is still in control and that He is still my source! My heart is racing and my soul is stirring at such a wonderful revelation! Thank you , God!

Saying “Yes” to something is always saying “No” to something else. And often letting go doesn’t mean grabbing something else. It means just that…Let Go.

When I envision my life, I can see me digging and drilling for the gold of peace and forgiveness. The hardness of the mountains and caves wore me down. Finally, I was able to see the gold. But I couldn’t touch it. Its glow was so radiant. Yet I couldn’t reach it. None of the tools I had could get me pass this point. Stuck, but still searching, I soon realized I was wasting too much time and energy on something only God can do. So, God told me to “Let go of the tools I have been using.” I submitted...I need God!

That is a simple instruction. Yet, sometimes I wasn’t obedient. My impulsive decisions many times don’t bring good results. I have learned to go to God in prayer about decisions in my life. I don’t get this right every time, but I have certainly changed over the years. Most times I know the right thing to do. I just need courage to do it. That’s where I am.

I read this passage from 101 Faith Notes by Pauline Creeden.

Is your problem bigger than the Earth, or more impossible to break than the creation of it? If God is powerful enough to create the heavens and the earth, isn’t He powerful enough to help you overcome your sin?


Sometimes change can be scary. But I have faith in God that he will carry me through this process. I am already praising Him in advance.



Prayer Dear Lord some mountains seem so high. I am not asking you to take the mountain away, though. I am asking you to help me to climb this mountain. I am asking for strength and courage to do the right thing. I am praying for direction when I am lost. I am leaning on you Lord to lead and guide me every step of the way. Amen

Know Where You Are In Your Season

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? Psalms 27: 1


Yesterday, I found myself preparing for doctors appointment. I had to travel to another city. My mind was racing, my heart pounding and hands nervous. You see, I have no sense of direction, so traveling nearly paralyzes me. I am slowing conquering this fear, but not there yet.


I couldn’t find my directions from the previous trip so I decided to use Mapquest. To my surprise the directions were different. It’s simple. Here I AM! Here is where I want to be. I did this 2 or 3 times. The old directions wouldn’t come up. I was getting frustrated, knowing I had less than 5 minutes to leave.

Finally I decided to take the directions and head to my appointment. To my amazement, not only were the directions easier, but the time shorter. Interesting! Yet, I was still anxious, because the directions to the office within the hospital were in the folder with the travel directions. The garages were color coded and I remember my instructions to park in Green.

I reached for my phone. Screen black!

Don’t panic!

Remember where you parked.

Breathe!

Finally, I am inside this enormous place. There are arrows and color bars everywhere!. This is too much! So, I stopped and said a prayer to calm myself. I got on the first elevator. Up one floor.

Familiar, but not sure which direction I should choose. Then I noticed a very tall man standing waiting on the elevator. He had a rugged yet soft look about him. His hair was seasoned with grey and his face with soft smile lines.

“Hello, Sir”

Well hi there!

Can you direct me “here”?

The elevator opens……

Why of course, I will do better than that. I will take you there!

Oh, by the way, don’t park in Green any more, park in Orange.

New instructions, hmmm. Sermon notes....
OMG! I couldn’t hold back my excitement and relief. He could have pointed me in the direction and got on the elevator waiting on him.

He not only walked me to the office, but to the check in station. The man, “Gary”, was talking with such joy the entire way. I was listening, laughing and making mental notes of directions.

I thanked Gary and sat down in front of the checkin desk. The young lady’s face looked at if Denzel had just walked out of the room. Then she finally said, “Do you know who that was?”


Yes, an angel sent to me when I was lost in this maze.

She laughed, Then stated, “He is the head honcho of this entire department for the hospital!” She seemed to have been blessed just by small conversation he had with her before departing. She couldn’t say enough about how thoughtful and kind this gentleman was. I agreed.

I am seeking God for wholeness in my life and He has revealed a map quite unfamiliar to me. Reprinting the instructions probably won’t change that. But I am certainly ready for the journey. I am not sure what this would look like or who would be at the finish line. What I am sure about is that I am not alone.


The Lord would never lead you on a path to nowhere. And more importantly, if you are seeking Him, he will send you someone to help guide you. It may not be the person you chose or the event you select. Perhaps your cell phone won’t be available to call yet another friend about your issue.

You have to trust and believe. I have decided to do just that.

There are certain emotions I am expecting to experience. At the same time, I know some emotions will surely amaze me. But with each step, I know I won’t be alone.

I am ready. I know where I am, caged but ready. And most importantly I know where I am going…Soaring!

I have decided to follow Jesus


No turning back, No turning back


Prayer Lord, I have come this far by faith lending on you, Lord. Thank you for allowing me yet another chance to get this right. Thanks for being real and true. Thanks for the angels you have kept in my life to remind me of your awesomeness! I am offering up a thankful spirit today because you didn't have to do this for me. I am ready for this year of transformation, Lord. When I was lost, you sent new instructions. I have received! Amen

Embracing My Winter Season

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.” Isaiah 40: 28-29 NKJV




Over the holiday season, we were blessed with sweet potatoes and carrots from our garden. My husband plants and tends the garden and added root vegetables this year. I remember him turning over the soil and harvesting the last of the vegetables in the fall. I actually forgot about the vegetables that were left. The cold weather forced me indoors more than out.

Once I saw the bounty, I was so excited and  found myself cooking pies and adding vegetables to poultry dishes. As I was cleaning and preparing the veggies, I thought about how sturdy a food this was. I was so excited I began to wonder about what other plants grew well in the winter. I quickly realized that these plants were not planted in the winter. They were planted midsummer. So, after the harvest of the collard greens, berries, cucumbers, and green beans the root veggies still remained in the ground. The soil around it was allowed to rest.

Over the past month or so, I have been in a winter season. The Lord has kept me still and many days quiet and resting. I have learned not to fight, but to receive.

Webster defines "root" as the underground part of a seed plant body who functions as an:


• Organ of absorption

• Aeration

• Food storage

• Means of anchorage and support

Therefore, regardless of what can be seen with the natural eye, the Lord is working on my roots. It is not time for me to till soil. The next six months I am to:

• Absorb and sit under the Word


• To aerate and speak life


• To store the Word in heart


• To seek God and accept that all that I am anchored in Him and I am to lean on Him for support.


We can be new in Christ. I believe that and I have an expectation that God is going to deliver me from the things that hinder me.



Prayer “Dear Lord, I recognize that some times we need to be still and sit under the Word. This is such a time. I am asking you Lord for guidance and strength to endure tests I have not had to endure before. I am asking you to give me the strength in my winter season to deal with anxieties and thoughts that would have me believe I am not worthy of your love and your presence. I know Lord you are mighty and powerful! I am holding on to your unchanging hands!”Amen

He Lives! That's Good News!

So, through Jesus let us always offer to God our sacrifice of praise, coming from lips that speak his name. Hebrews 13:15 NCV

Christmas time is really upon us. I must say it has been one of the most relaxing and refreshing Christmases for me. My husband, Kevin, and I have always tried not to get caught up in the stuff. We were blessed with Christmases of one gift and of plenty. Yet, we always tried to stay focused.

When the kids were babies and toddlers we were very careful about the books, video, music, that we brought into the home. I was taught from elementary school throughout high school about how external stimuli can influence decision making and behavior. Also, as a marketing major I was amazed at all of the “tricks” companies used to persuade buyers. Wording on products, placement, pricing, design, etc are all designed for one thing…to separate us from our money. That is why when the kids ask for the candy at the register, I understood. It’s at eye distance.

We only allowed the kids to watch public TV programs; other selected programs and carefully picked out videos. Public TV did not have commercials, therefore the kid’s mind weren't always bombarded with things to buy. A trip to any store with all 5 kids was a doable thing. Of course, there were times they asked for items, but we were blessed the kids didn’t beg obsessively and throw tantrums in the store.

The result is kids who understand that Christmas isn’t about the stuff. It was never about the stuff and then we changed the meaning in the middle of the experience. I am certain one of the Grier kids would have called us out. We asked each year, what they desired for Christmas. The question was never, “What do you want Santa to bring you?” They don’t feel slighted by the experience. Though, one Christmas one of my sons wrote a 3 page list. I looked at it with amusement. I called him to the room and simply stated, “Son, I apologize to you if I made you believe that we would buy 3 pages of gifts to place under the tree.” He simply nodded and with a slight grin, walked out of the room. I know someone had to try.

The kids understood this…

• We were not going to hold our tithe to buy presents.

• We were not working second jobs to supply toys for Christmas. But to survive we would.

• We were not going to max out credit cards and suffer financially for being irresponsible.

• We were not going to borrow money from all of the relatives, and add on more debt.

Once through a financial wilderness, it would have been crazy for us to take the kids back through with us.

We don’t debate across the dinner table about the true meaning of Christmas. We know the meaning. It saddens us there is so much debate. We pray that the people who are served during the Christmas season continue to be helped after Christmas.

The good news is that Christ was born to die for our sins. We can’t seem to utter that doing this festive season. Yet,owning that powerful revelation will remove all doubt.

My favorite hymn….

He Lives

God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;

He came to love, heal and forgive;

He lived and died to buy my pardon,

An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,

Because He lives, all fear is gone;

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living,

Just because He lives!

Now that’s Good News!

Prayer Thank you father for sending your son, Jesus. I don't think we always embrace the enormity of such a wonderful and awesome Gift. Please forgive us where we fall short.We are praising your name , Father, just for allowing us to lift you up in this Christmas season. You alone are the reason for the season. ~Amen 

New Beginnings to Wholeness

2 Corinthians 12:9
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me



In 1986 my roommate and I attended a sales presentation for dinnerware and cookware. We were sold on the beauty of the product and the lifetime guarantee warranty for the cookware. We purchased the entire set which included cookware, fine china, bone china and a casual dinnerware set. I was excited about one day using the dinnerware.

I was always careful with taking care of my items. Growing up, my parents stressed how to take care of simple items so that we weren’t always replacing broken, lost, or misused items. I was careful to teach my kids the same thing. But we all understand and expect there to be mishaps, mistakes, and certainly something breaking in the kitchen! Yet, we didn’t have many broken dishes.

Then one day, I walked in the kitchen and there it was, a broken bowl in 3 pieces. It was lovingly placed on the counter with all pieces accounted for. I asked the kids what happened. My daughter explained it was dropped while washing dishes. I looked at her gentle face , smiled and thanked her for saving the pieces. I let the bowl sit for a couple of days, and eventually glued the pieces together. I followed the instructions carefully.

*Make sure the surface is clean

*Align the blue trim on the top of the bowl to insure a good fit

*Apply a coat of super glue and place the pieces together

*Hold the pieces together to secure the glue

*Wipe off excess glue

*Allow the glue in the item to set

That was over ten years ago. The bowl is still in use. We have washed it by hand and the dishwasher. We have placed it in the microwave. The bowl is good for cold cereal or hot soup. Because the glue has held up, we treat the bowl as if it was never broken.

I can still see the crack, but the bowl is like new and usable.

For so long I have lived a broken life. The pieces were neatly placed inside of me. Every time I attempted to get past my issues the task failed. I realized there was going to be a process. What I didn’t know is that the process for me would be longer than expected. There were lessons I was trying to by-pass because I wasn’t ready to deal with my issues. I thought by placing memories in the back of my mind, and moving forward with fervor would do the trick!

Not! Life will make you deal with her!

In ,Paulette Harper Johnson  new book Completely Whole she wrote 2 very important points in the first chapter that grabbed my heart….

*There are avenues and detours we must take (or make!)

*We want to get from A to Z without the bumpy roads.

Those 2 sentences stopped me in my track. I recognized this as confirmation from God concerning my weary days. I know there is no short cut and I opened myself to that fact a while back. I am walking in faith that I will be made whole.

Steps I have taken so far…..

• Allow the Lord to create in me a clean heart


• Align my life with the Word


• Apply the Word to the broken pieces


• Allow the Word to hold the broken pieces together


• Allow the Lord to wipe my tears


• Sit under the Word allowing the healing to set.

My wholeness looks just like my bowl. If I look hard enough, I can see the crack. But that’s just my testimony! My wholeness can withstand the hot and the cold issues life presents. And the Lord can use me and use me some more! I have recognized the weakness in my bowl and I submit those weaknesses to the Almighty!

Prayer Lord, Lord Dear Lord, I bring before you my brokenness. I thank you for never leaving me. I thank you for my trials and tribulations for I have grown Lord and I have learned to trust you. Please forgive for the times I worried. Please forgive me for having a Plan B for when I doubted. I trust you, Lord. Thank you for your grace and mercy!