Let's Not Accept The Game...For Our Daughters

I remember finally arriving at the college of my choice. As I walked on the campus, I realized a whole new world had opened up for me. I was excited and nervous at the same timed. Our freshman week was designed to handle all of the mundane transactions that come along with registration and getting to know your peers. During orientation, we were given royal blue folders to hold all the contents being passed out that week. The week was filled with fun events from a pool party to lecture by the Chancellor.


The Interest Meeting

When I was a child, I spoke like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put aside childish things. I Corinthians 13:11

Suddenly, the tide changed. The upperclassman returned. There seem to be a lot more attention and a lot more forward introductions. The preliminary question I remember the most was, “Are you a freshmen?’” Hmmmmmmmmm how did he know? Upon reflecting on this question being asked over and over, my home girl, an upperclassman, said, “The blue folder! All of you have them!”We laughed hysterically!! It was as if we marked ourselves. This was the beginning of the The Game.

The Sign Up

The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harms. Proverbs 13:20

Now you are walking on campus , at the club, at work and you are working it my sisters! I remember the signals going out saying, “I am available.” He is hearing, “I can get that!”After hours or days of gazing, the questions pops, “What’s up Shortee! What’s up my sister? Hello, you have a wonderful smile.”After a little convo, you give him your cell number, your alternate number, your face book id, your twitter, your dorm info, your apartment infor. He gives you his number. Your heart is racing because you have committed to the game. You saw him for the first time today. He saw you when you arrived.

The Practice

They lie to one another; they speak with flattering lies and deceptive hearts. Psalm 12:2

The days are sunny even when the sky sends showers and you can’t wait to hear his voice. You’ve had endless conversations for days. But you haven’t considered you are the one calling, texting, calling some more. He is actually only returning your calls or text messages. Something in your spirit is uneasy, but you chalk it up to the excitement of something new.

Finally, alone…He makes you laugh. But you never think that each time you laugh, no one else hears your hearty laughter. “I love the way you walk.” Yet no one sees you walking together. And though the compliment was sincere, you hear, “Girl I want to see you walking down the aisle!”And it is that message that drives your behavior. In your mind, you picked a date, had a ceremony and named the kids.

He is occupying a lot of your time. He brings up sex, but not directly. He is feeling you out and cautious about rejection. The elephant is in the room and moving. He won’t put a label on the relationship. You won’t either, waiting on him. “Let’s chill and see what happens.”

You keep reminding yourself how fine that boy is! And your girlfriends chime in, but with caution. You are thinking “They are haters.” The girlfriends are thinking, “I saw that boy crawl out of Gloria’s room”.

He is loving your company and joins in the laughing sessions. Your mind says, “Did I see the back of him coming out of Gloria’s room. If so, he already said that’s his home girl.”

He can’t move past how good you look, how your hips move and how soft your skin is. At this point Note to Self “You knew that anyway!” The way you dress informs him of what is important to you. Therefore if you are dressing like a lady and he acknowledges that that’s a good thing. Though, this areas reflect low self-esteem, he notices that as well.



The Scrimmage

Good sense wins favor, but the way of the treacherous never changes. Proverbs 13:15

The room is uncomfortably quiet. You have finally arrived to his room or apartment. Though he has been undressing you with his eyes for days or weeks, he is caught off guard you came tonight. He moves swiftly through the living room and fast track to the bedroom. He talks more to kill the silence to put you at ease. The room is void of pictures.

The lights are dim. Dim lights cause people to stand 40 % closer. Less talking. TV on and music playing. His phone rings. He doesn’t answer.

He catches your gaze and won’t let go. You smile and immediately look down. Your spirit has a moment to intercede.

“Grab your coat of many colors and run!”

Then the kiss! Omg! The Kiss! Your bodies are now closer. You feel a bit uncomfortable. Yet you tell yourself it’s too late to push away. Your insides are screaming, “No!” Your body is shaking from nervousness. He believes it’s his prowess. All ego! Nothing to do with him.

Your spirit “We shouldn’t be here. He has been MIA for the last several days.”

This moment is nothing like you imagined. The air is still. Your eyes are closed so that you won’t feel. The room is dark…..

This is a test of the Emergency Self-Talk System

Coming soon Part II The game