Letting Go!

My spouse and I were talking about our early college years the other day. I arrived at college a very hurt, confused, closed off, and quiet girl. I had carried the burden of hurt, shame, and an unforgiving spirit. I spent most of my nights crying and most of my free days sleeping. I was an emotional mess. I lived for years in this state. I tried wearing a brave, strong face, but my inside was ripped and my soul was sad and my spirit severely hurt. For years, I never knew there was another way to live….or another way to feel.


In order to keep myself safe, I blocked people from my life. But in doing so, I blocked the bad things and blessings meant for my life. I began to seek God in a deeper way. I heard a sermon at a women’s day celebration about 20 years ago and the speaker kept saying, “You have to get on your knees and stay on knees and agonize with God!” Those words resonated with me and I instantly changed my prayer life. I was suffering and going deeper and deeper into a depressive state.

That was the beginning of the Lord guiding me out of such a dark tunnel. There were so many people and events I was holding on to. I was holding on to actions, words, dates, etc. All of these things had me bound. I tried over and over to forgive and forget. And so often, I thought I had. But events in my everyday life reminded me that I had not been freed.

Finally, I let God have His way! I was trying to give pieces of myself on my terms to the Lord. How many know that didn’t work! I had to know where the line was. I had to be committed to the change I was seeking. And when I got it wrong, I had to GET UP and allow God to renew my spirit. There are days still, when I don’t get it right. But the difference is I have learned to stay on my knees and cry out to the Lord.

I experienced a freedom in the Lord so deep and so real, that I am getting to know myself all over again.

Thank God!

I am also in awe of God's greatness. He is truly faithful and I am so grateful to Him for never forsaking me. This week I loaded pictures of myself from when I was a teenager and a young adult. This was an important process for me for my healing. Many people from my hometown responded with memories of time spent hanging out and remembering my smile. Of the 306 people who graduated with me, only one person knew how sad I was inside. Only one person knew I cried myself to sleep almost every night. A teacher or two noticed I cried in class sometimes, but they dare not ask.



It had been years since I viewed the pictures. That was on purpose. I always saw the broken heart and broken trust whenever I looked at my childhood pictures. This time I saw the little girl the Lord has been waiting on! This time I saw the hope in my face. I realized that the Lord never, ever left me. He brought me to my knees so that I can depend on Him and to seek His face.



I can barely finish this note at my desk, tearing and the presence of God is all over me. I thought I was just going to write about a simple experience. But it's more than that. I am free! I am free from the pain! I am free from the mistrust! I am free from the anger! And mostly I am free from an unforgiving spirit.



Lord, I thank you! Lord, I thank you! Lord! Lord! Lord!



Please sisters pray with me! Hallelujah!



Lord I need you! Lord, I praise you! Lord, I thank you just for being you and never leaving me!!!

I encourage you to let go and let God! There is freedom in Christ when you release people and events that have represented themselves as strongholds in your life. Take some time daily to meditate on the word and allow God to fill your heart and flood out things that shouldn’t be there.

Remember Me!

I was thinking about the lives that crossed mine at the church I attend, Greater First United Baptist Church. Some are sick in their bodies, other gone home.This poem was born out of thoses memories.......

Remember Me

“Remember me!” I say to the rafters

While praising my Lord

I greeted you with a smile

As I opened the church door

Some were never touched through the week

I greeted you with a kiss,

I sat with white socks gleaming

‘Til service was dismissed

My hair grayed, bones weakened

I marched to the choir’s beat,

Sunday school, moist cakes, Bible study

The Lord blessed me to speak

With squinted eyes and a jolly heart

I always stopped to play

For the child in me reminded me

Of the blessing of a new day

Red hats, yellow hats, blue hats,

That added charm to my cane

Body given in, spirit rejoicing

While I called out His name

Sweat glistened on my brow

While I fervently praised in song

Shoes off, hands raised

Worshipping and singing along

“Remember me!” Whether going home

Convalescent or going through

Thank the Lord for life and health.

Remember we once shared a pew.

Being Thankful...

After arriving home and getting settled in, it was time to prepare dinner for the family. Family dinner is such an important time in the Grier household. There is never a dull moment and it’s always exciting to hear about what happened during the day.


I turned the oven on to preheat, but remained in the kitchen while working on something else. My senses became alarmed when I saw smoke coming from the oven. I was certain there was nothing left in the oven. I was thinking, “What could have burned that quickly?”

I was expecting to find just smoke, but once I opened the oven door; I was greeted by a flame. Then I noticed the heating element had broken in two. Remaining calm, I closed the door and turned off the oven. The flame went down and then out. It was at that moment I actually had a realization of what just happened.

Quite often when I preheat the oven, I walk away to do other things. .always multi-tasking. This time I felt compelled to stay in the kitchen. What a mighty God we serve!

Once I told my spouse, he stated, “That’s one of the unseen ways God protects us!”

There are so many opportunities for thanks throughout the day. Perhaps, you were lead not to speak in anger during a conversation. Did you notice that the traffic lights on your commute to work, actually worked, causing you to safely turn? Did you notice your cupboards low, but there were enough leftovers available to make a meal?

We have to be deliberate about our thanks! Thank you, Lord for difficult situations that remind me to rely on you. Thank you, Lord for a loving, supportive and God-fearing spouse. Thank you, Lord for a mother who was my mother and not my girlfriend. Thank you, Lord for a father who didn’t compromise discipline. Thank you, Lord for lives spared during the thunderstorm this week.

Today! Immediately! On purpose! Give thanks for the unseen blessings in your life!!

Spring Time In My Life

I was inspired to write about spring time today after readying one of my favorite blogs, http://www.alabasterwomanministries.com/. My favorite time of the year is Spring. When I was young, the church youth department would take regular nature walks during the Spring season. Spring had to be one of the most magical times in my life. We noted the texture of the trees and which trees and other foliage were budding. The different shapes and colors of the insects we found were sometimes met with screams. But I was always excited. It was a great contrast to the harsh winter months and short winter days.


The rain showers and rainbows, woodpeckers, and children playing outside were all welcome sights for me. The winter months seemed to make my emotional winters more intense. And I looked forward to seeing the leaves on the trees appearing with glee! Yesterday, I was talking to my youngest daughter about this very moment. I asked her to look at the tall trees in the yard and to marvel at the shades of green against a perfect blue sky and white clouds. I shared that I looked for those moments in the sky when I was a girl. She was starring as if it were the first time she noticed. Then she broke the silence and said, “I wish I could walk on that cloud.” We both smiled in that moment.

During my teenage years, the pictures on my wall were my own drawings from plants, birds, etc that I found in nature. My heart seemed to slow down a bit and I always felt so much peace when we came upon a stream. The melodic sounds the water made while traveling over rocks were heavenly. Even as a young child, the Lord spoke to me in those moments. My depression didn’t seem as profound as the winter months. And I tried to make use of all the daylight hours provided after a long winter.

Spring represents such a newness and freshness in my spirit. My spouse decided to work from home recently and worked on the patio. He spoke about the wind softly blowing and the music being played by the sounds of nature. He shared how connected he felt with God and how his mind was renewed after a relaxing day.

My life is in a Spring season right now and I am excited about what God has in store for me!

I am thanking God for rebirth and renewal of my spirit!