Embrace The Possibility Of Something Different

I was listening to the discussion in Sunday School and the teacher’s word caught my attention. “Embrace the possibility of something different by making a different decision.I think there was a quiet chuckle because we all have heard that before. Yet, I carried those words with me. I soon realized why the words had now camped out in my mind. It was because years ago I had made a commitment to get to church on time. And yet, this was the second week I had been late. And though it was health related, I still felt convicted.


For me, this was a poke from my spirit reminding me from where I’ve come. I remember coming to church just in time enough to hear the sermon. All of the things that were going on before the sermon were a distraction for me. That is where I was in my life. It had gotten to a point, I wasn’t consistent in my worship life. Becoming a part of a church family would have placed people too close to me, ensuring another church hurt.

Therefore, I created space and built a wall for each person, place or thing that violated me, made me mad, hurt me; betrayed me, made me uncomfortable and list grew and grew. People from my childhood had a wall. Family members had a brick. Friends had bricks. The wall was so tall and wide, I couldn’t see anything but the wall.

One day a sister from the church, Donna, called me. We had met briefly. But I knew who she was. She spoke to me about my absence. “Who would have noticed, but my family?” I thought. She encouraged me to return and worship and to pray constantly. Her most powerful words were, “The longer you stay away, the harder it is to come back.” I knew her word were true because I was missing the fellowship less and less. Yet I knew my heart was empty and broken.

One morning, I awaken with tears in my eyes. What was I dreaming about? I tried to hold back the tears. But the dam of my heart gave in and all I could do was cry out to the Lord. I thought in the end I would be sick. But that morning, I decided to do something different.

The wall was greater than me. But I know the very wall that I thought was keeping me in, was keeping the Lord out. I was constantly in turmoil trying to convince myself that the wall was a good thing. All of this conflict! No peace!

The Lord knocked down the wall and used the bricks to create a path to him. I had tried every other path. Why not try this path….again?

I knew this time things would be different. I realize all the issues I was running from were inside of me. So, whether I went to church or watched Charles Stanley, the issues were with me! Looking in the mirror allowed me to look inside of my heart. And I owned how broken my heart was and Turned It Over to Jesus! I let it all go!!!

So, when I had the audacity to do something different, I got very different something in return.

So, I acknowledge the nudge of the spirit. In order to get all that God has for me, I need to be in place and be On Time!

Being Still and Hearing from God

I have been experiencing some medical issues and was scheduled for a procedure. I scheduled the day off from work and was prepared to “get this over with.” But the procedure had to be rescheduled to another location and time. I decided not to cancel my day off, but to work on some projects at home.


But when I woke up, my spirit was saying something different. I was restless and couldn’t focus on the jobs I intended to start. So, to wind myself down I decided to exercise. I began on the exercise bike. I carefully placed my water to the side and began my ride. I had a book in my hand on the subject of nutrition. But for the life of me I couldn’t concentrate and focus. I tried and tried and finally gave in.

I moved over to the treadmill. I started noticing a calmness coming upon me. I thought it was knowing my exercise session was coming to an end!

It was about 8:00 am and the house was quiet. I had no music on. Just quiet…..and I started thinking about the decisions I have made recently and relationships at work, church and with family. I began with why questions and answered honestly. Some answered were uncomfortable. The Lord was speaking to me softly, gently yet very clearly and firmly. And I realized had I turned on the music and started “working” in the house, I never would have heard that message. I was trying so hard not to be still.

My talents, my time, my family, my life all belong to God. Period! And I am to honor Him and to be honorable in all of my relationships. Otherwise I would be like the dogwood that use to be in my front yard, standing tall year after year, a blossom here and there, branches never full and certainly no fruit! I would rather be like the might oak tree towering over my patio in the backyard. The nuts are bountiful and provide nourishment for some and the leaves are hearty providing shade for others.

I was preparing in the evening to take my son back to college. He had decided the day before to take his twin siblings out to have a heart to heart talk with them before they enter college later this month. I thought that was great.

We decided to go eat no fat yogurt at a local shop. And then more confirmation! He said one of the things I told them was to “constantly be aware of the friends and associates you keep in your space. Pay attention to the things that their lives are producing and more importantly , pay attention to that restlessness in your spirit that lets you know 1) You aren’t where you are suppose to be and 2) You aren’t with the people you are suppose to be with.

I just wanted to jump up and run around the yogurt shop! First the Lord kept me still to hear a powerful message. And then he sent the same message from my older son to give to his siblings. And now these words are posted to Alabaster Woman Ministries!

My God! My God! I am full all over again!

Resting in the Lord

After many weeks of scorching heat, it finally rained over the weekend. It was a soft and steady rain. It reminded me of the rain showers I experienced as a child. I was standing in the kitchen and I could hear my mother in the back of mind saying, “Sit down somewhere, while the Lord does his work!” As a child I never understood what she meant by that. But I was obedient and sat in silence.


In my mind’s eye, I imagined the Lord always rearranging his living room, the thunder. Then he took a bath and once he let out the water in the bathtub, it rained on Earth. Yes, I had an overactive imagination!

This weekend when I heard that voice, I heard it differently. I was concerned about a family situation and my nights were restless. The voice said, “Be still and I will give you rest.” I immediately knew I was to sit down while the Lord did his work.

I had prayed about it, wrote about it and talked about it. Now, I have to release it and lay on my Father’s pillow and rest.